Is Cosmo Real?

Or is it spelled Cozmo when it's a name?  Because it appears that Meg has an invisible friend named Cosmo.  She talks about him all the time.  She tells me if he has a fever or is crying, or just needs to be held.  The boys think that Cosmo is the character in a movie, but I don't think so.  As far as I know she hasn't seen any movie with a character named Cosmo, so it appears that she has been visited by her guardian angel and his name is Cosmo.  (I heard a long time ago that maybe our guardian angels are actually invisible friends as children.  Sounds sweet enough.)

I have been.... gasp.... cough..... back of hand to forhead..... dieting.  Sort of!  I mean, I'm not really dieting as much as I am depriving myself of all the really good food in life.  Like Girl Scout cookies.  I didn't realize when I ordered all 10 boxes that I would be trying to cut back by the time they arrived.  This is for the birds!

Now, wanted to just leave you with a few photos of the remodel we did in our attic.

Before:

The old carpet and the "tear out" portion of the redo.

This is the before before... meaning before there was ANYTHING, there was attic.

That gray door was the old attic door.  Now it's a nice four foot opening.

And Liam sleeps in here.  We call it Lego land because it's where he plays Lego.  And his cave where he sleeps! 

More shots of the cave.  I couldn't get far enough away to get a shot all at once.

This is the Lego land portion.  I know it looks like the ceiling is plywood, but it's actually bead board.

Connor's side is decorated in a cowboy theme.  Which came in handy because my dad is a cowboy so we had lots of "props" from his house.  These were his boots when he was a kid.  They are now decor on Connor's bookshelf.  The stuffed shirt (pillow) behind the boots was also my dads as a kid.

These holsters were my dad's.  The horseshoe hook they are hanging on is one my dad made a while back to use as a hat rack for the nursery, but it works out perfectly for a holster hanger too! :)

I bought this old license plate from a junk dealer.  I don't know if you can see it, but there are two little rodeo themed lapel pins on the cowboy pillow.

The curtain that is hung on Connor's bedroom entrance was actually the curtain on my dad's windows when he was a kid.  They are "Roy Rogers".  The hankie that's tied around it was also my dad's.  It's Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.  The little red chair looks so cute in there next to the Rodeo poster.  

As a result of our upstairs redo, there is NO furniture downstairs except for our dining room table.  We moved all the old living room furniture up to what used to be the shared bedroom of the little boys.  Now that their beds are in the former attic, we have a "play room" with a TV and the video games so the adults have reclaimed the downstairs!  Praise be! 

That's the last of the exciting home tour until after the downstairs furniture arrives.  Hope you enjoyed seeing how a big family can cram themselves into EVERY SQUARE INCH of a three bedroom house! :)  I really believe that if we need any more space, we'll either have to move up to the big attic (with the pull down stairs) or we will officially have to get a new house.  :(

Jack's Room

The albums tacked to his wall were up in our attic.  When we cleaned out the attic, we laughed so hard at all the junk we've kept over the years.  Why?  But turns out that a bass playing boy likes retro album covers as wall art.  :) My Ace Frehley, Loverboy, and Van Halen albums are being enjoyed by another generation... hehehe.  Yes, those hard rockin' albums were mine, not Brian's.

I saw this idea in a magazine for kids furniture and loved it.  Jack had one old skateboard that he didn't use anymore and I purchased a cheap one at the discount store.  It made the perfect space to wrangle all his trophies into a nice organized display.  I painted the little canvas with the guitar on it.  I took a sheet that had been at my grandmothers house and covered a canvas, then I did a guitar on it.  At the time, Jack wasn't playing bass, I should probably do another one with a bass guitar on it.  Sorry the photo is so blurry.

The guitar stand in the foreground is lighted and it looks super cool when the guitar is hanging there.  Plus, it keeps the guitar off the floor.  The blue chair in the background was also at my grandmothers.  I can't believe she had some pretty cool art deco style furniture, but she did! It's really neat, blue velour.  :)

These are the before photos.... the flag came from Brian's cousin in Ireland.  It was hanging in their candy store and they sent it to Jack! :)  But now the flag is looking for a new home.  We're trying to think of something really cool to do with it.  Maybe the ceiling?  

This photo is taken during the process of painting so alot of stuff is already down off the walls, etc.  But the bed WAS on the floor.

The wall was a mess from all the stuff that had been hung and rehung.

I really hated to paint over these cool denim walls, but it made the room look really small.

We still had the stenciling on the walls from when it was a nursery.  "Brush your teeth, say your prayers and kiss your Mama goodnight!"  

Next stop.... the new sleeping space for the little boys.... Have a great Thursday!

Tour of Homes

This is probably only of interest to those who have seen my house... but I have a few shots of the work we've been doing around the house.

Remember the aprons?  They are still there, in Meg's room.  These aprons belonged to my two grandmothers.  The lighting is terrible in this photo, but the walls are a soft pink and the tin panel the aprons hang from are pink, cream and green.

This is Meg's bow holder.  It's attached to her closet door, which is covered in a soft green striped toile with pink designs.  

Meg's bed, it looks red in the photo.  I hate this lighting.  It's actually a very nice bright pink color.  This bed was originally brass and belonged to my paternal grandmother and aunt.  When my grandmother died, my aunt was going to throw it out so she asked if I might want it!  :)  Well, yeah! 

Another one of the bed.

This quilt was in the bottom of a box of stuff I got from my Grandmother's house when she died.  I was actually thinking most of the stuff inside was junk, and most of it actually was.  But this quilt and a box of letters from my uncle and my dad when they were in basic training were both inside the box! :)

My mom and her friend pieced and quilted this for Meg.  I love the Holly Hobby type dolls.  I had a quilt on my wall when I was little that my grandmother made me with a very similar theme.  

This was actually also in the box from my Grandmother.  It was a bedspread, but it worked very nicely as a curtain. 

These dolls were the ones the lady gave me at the adoption conference a while back.  Remember the lady who said, "God told me to give these to you"?  Well, these are the Russian mother and daughters that she gave to me.  I love them. They now hang on Meg's door.  

So, that's it.  Meg's room... I'll show my room and Jack's room soon.  Jack's room is the biggest difference right now.  Of course, the two little boys both have new rooms, but it's hard to show you their space because it's so tiny you can't get a photo of it.  But everyone has officially got their own bed in their own floor space and that's priceless.  

Hope you are all having a great Monday night.  

Happy Birthday Vitaly Lubimov!  We love you! 

Happy Valentine's Day

I thought I remembered taking some photos of the heart candy in the grass last year.  So I looked back to be sure.... and sure enough, this is proof!  Yes, last year on Valentine's Day, I was outside barefooted!  That's how it's supposed to be,  but tonight we are expecting snow, again.  Sigh!  Is anyone bored to death of me whining about the weather?  I am!

Remember when I felt loved just because my mom came and helped me take down my Christmas tree?  Well, the love has reached a whole new level.  Both the queen mums were here this weekend (mine and Brians.)  I'm not saying that I'm such a slob that they felt sorry for me.  I'm not saying my house was so out of control dirty that I had totally given up on trying to clean it (or ever having it clean again.)  I'm not saying that I called them and whined about it.  But it's something like that.  And these two amazing Mammas met at a halfway point, rode together to my house (about three hours for both of them) and CLEANED all weekend.  And you know what?  Both of them have THANKED me for LETTING them come clean.  And told me how much FUN they had.  Hmmmm, well, if you really insist, and since you had SUCH a great time scrubbing my floors, oven, sinks, toilets, windows, and clothes, then I guess you can come back next weekend! :)

I have a photo of them actually UNDER my kitchen table wiping down the stuff no one ever sees.  I mean, that is something they know I would never do... if no one will see it, what's the point?  :)  I'll share the photo next week when my little camera is charged and ready for download.  But in case you didn't get any loving from your own mom for Valentine's Day, I don't mind forwarding this post to her (just send me her e-mail address) so maybe she'll get some ideas for next years big love fest! :)

Is it sad that after 16 years together, hubs and I did not exchange cards, did not even say, "Happy Valentine's Day" to one another?  What we DID do was go to Wal-Mart last night at 10:00 PM.  Now I am in Wally World 2 x week, at least, but 10 on a Saturday night is a whole different experience.  I have so many questions.  The main one is what on EARTH you would need so badly on a Saturday night at 10:00 that you would drag your kids out at that late hour and subject them to shopping?  My kids were not with me, they were home with grandmothers, but there were ALOT of kids there, very sleepy, whining, crying children.  And I wanted to cry with them/for them!

Happy Valentine's Day, dear peeps!  I wish you a sparkling clean house and so much love!

Does this mean I'm normal?

I have gotten a kick out of Sara Palin this week.  I have laughed as everyone laughed at her, but I have been laughing WITH her.  You see, I write things on my hand all the time.  I don't really think it's that unusual, or maybe it is.  But I personally am prone to forgetting.  Right now, at this very moment, in red Sharpie, it says, "socks, Valentine's, pipe stem" on my left hand.  I mean, you would think that I could remember those three simple things for the next two hours until I get to Wally World, but I might see a chicken in the road and then all would be lost.  I'd spend $80 wandering around the store wondering what the heck I came in there for.

So, I don't want to judge whether or not I'm "normal" by any politician, but just this once, maybe she has brought a little normalcy to what I already considered a very normal thing.

What about you?  Do you write stuff on your hands?  How do you remember what you have to do in a day?  or are you one of THOSE people whose brains just function properly?  Bleck!

**********************************************************************************

That was my original post for the day.  Awe-inspiring, thought-provoking, I know, I know... how do I do it, you must be asking yourself! :)

But then I got this text forwarded to me from Gwen, who copied it straight from Heidi Weimer's FB page.  After I read it, I felt a little flat about my musings of the morning... humph!  I suck!

Preface: I can't say what every person should or should not do nor will I judge a person who doesn't supposedly "get it." That's wrong...

1) Scripture says that if we see someone in need and we have something that would fill their need yet DO NOT fill it, we do not have the love of God in us. [We have a family; orphans don't; we therefore should share with the orphan what we have that they do not.]

2) Scripture says that we must do to others what we would want done to us (or our own biological kids, for that matter). If we were orphaned, we would want to be adopted. Period. Not just visited or taken care of in a group home. Adopted into a family. And we would want the same for our biological kids.

3) Jesus didn't just come to visit us or care for us in our orphaned state; He came to lay down His life to adopt us. James 1:27 uses the phrase "visit orphans." The word "visit" there is the same word used for when Jesus came to "visit" us. He didn't leave us as orphans; He adopted us. He didn't see us in our orphaned state of despair and say, "Oh, poor things...I wish someone would do something about that." No, He adopted us. Changed our futures; our destinies; our families. We are to follow Him and do as He did.

4) How can we not? How can we look at the children in the world without families and say, 'No, not worth it.'? Our lives are not our own. We are called to pick up our crosses and follow Him. Not our own plans or desires or conveniences. Ain't nothin' about this whole "following Jesus" thing that is supposed to be convenient. Ask Jesus if the Cross was "convenient" or glamorous.

So, should every Christian adopt? Well, I like to turn that question on its head...What is a good reason a Christian SHOULDN'T adopt? Most reasons are self-focused if we are really honest with ourselves.

[Obviously, many people are not "fit" to adopt right now, but that is usually due to our own messes we've made with relationships, finances, life choices, etc, and not something put in our way stopping us from adopting.]

Culture

I think it's pretty funny, let me just say right off the bat, that I would be doing a post titled "Culture."  Growing up in the rural South with a graduating class of 77 people, I am probably not the most likely candidate to speak about anything refined.  But when I think about the culture we live in, it seems to me that we are so far off track that there will be no way of going back.

I started to think this morning about our country and the state of things.  And immediately I also was reminded of Sodom and Gomorah.  But God promised that if there was just one righteous person to be found, He would not wipe them from the planet.  I hope that is what will save our country from complete ruin, that there are a few righteous people left here, to spite our current culture.

On Sunday, there was a guest speaker at church and he talked about marriage.  He talked about how many things Christians have embraced and "normed" into our marriages that had pagan origins.  He went through a whole list of things, and I was amazed to see how many things we do as a Christian family that are not Biblically sound.  Down to the wedding march we play at our services!  Can you even fathom it?  We are starting our marriages to the tune of a pagan hymn.  It's no wonder that American marriage institution is in such disarray.

But the saddest thing to me about our culture, and I think this is a world-wide phenomenon, is how little we value life in it's natural state and how much we crave "perfection" (and I put that in quotes because the world culture defines perfection differently than Christ defines it.)

A friend was telling me a story yesterday that has continued to echo in my mind since I heard it.  She and her son and her son's friend, were outs somewhere together.  They passed a little girl and her mother holding hands, walking in the other direction.  My friend's son saw the little girl and said, "Isn't she cute!?"  The boy that was with them said, "You think she is cute?!?"  You see, the little girl had Down Syndrome and my friend's son, who has obviously been taught the beauty of life, not aesthetic beauty, just saw a precious child.  His friend, who has obviously been taught to judge on the standard of what the world defines as beautiful, did not see the precious creation, the adorable little girl, and the spritely spirit of the toddler, he only saw a "defect."  My friend said if they hadn't been in public, she would have squashed the boy!  :)  But I'm sure her words were effective in getting the point across to him.

At any rate, I just think that our "culture" has  become unrefined in the ways of the Lord.  I think we have gotten so far off the right path, that even as Christians sometimes we aren't able to differentiate between true Biblical commands and worldly expectation.  It's hard to know what to believe and where to turn.  I need leadership and mentoring spiritually, but how do you know where to draw the line on what's too much theatrics?  It seems to me that we are so engrossed in today that it's almost impossible to discern what God thinks of all this.

I'm clearly not making much sense. I am jumping from topic to topic, I'm just trying to process so many things right now that I don't hardly know where to start.  And maybe it has something to do with all the snow.  You know, Southerners are not equipped in any way to deal with so much time in the house! :)

Psalm 32:8
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."

Oh Southern Winter, where art thou?

I live in the South... remember!  What the HECK.... ANOTHER snow day! Grrrrrrr!

It's so bad, I was actually laying in bed, awake, but hoping the kids wouldn't wake up, changing the words to the Justin Timberlake song, SexyBack.  I swear, it went something like this....

Snowy day.... Can I whip them if they misbehave?

I won't bore you with the rest of the horrid lyrics, but I think you get the point that I've been driven over the edge here! HA.... anyone out there?  Please.... leave me a comment.... I need a laugh... say something funny!

Also, here's a photo of Meg in her new Poppy Dip Twirl skirt.  It's way cuter than the snow photos! 

A Favorite Photo Friday

We have had a short-term foster baby in our house this week.  Well, not actually a baby, but my dog is my baby too, so this qualifies in the life of a dog lover.  Anyway.... we have had our very first Labradoodle.  If he is any indication of the breed characteristic, I have fallen TOTALLY in love with him.  This is Jasper (didn't hurt that he was named after a Twilight character either.)

How can you not love a dog that comes into your home and in less than one week, he's sitting in for the bean bag chair?

Seriously, this is one of the most laid back puppies I've ever seen.  I was expecting the worst.  I'm not a huge fan of labs because they often seem totally neurotic and hyper (over breeding) and I figured that this one would be no exception.  Boy was I wrong.  He's a total couch potato.

The whole house has gone to the dogs!  Connor is not naked, by the way, he just has on shorts.  I couldn't make a post about how great Jasper is without a photo of Couch potato number 2.  He might get jealous.  :)

When I called Meg to dinner one night this week, she didn't come.  I went in to fuss at her about coming when I call, even when she is watching Mickey Mouse, and this is what I found! :()  SOOOOO precious!  By the way, I know that her blanket is ratty, and we can actually afford a new one, and she does have two new ones, in fact, but she won't use them.  She prefers the one we gave her the night she left the baby home! :)

Fancy fancy...

Do yourself a favor and don't EVER make this "Fancy Macaroni" from The Pioneer Woman!  Seriously people, I'm telling you, do NOT do it.  Because if you do, you can kiss your size 6's goodbye and start shopping at the big and hefty store.  I know that all things are okay in moderation, but you'll find yourself at the gourmet food store on the other side of town, buying cheeses in bulk specifically with this macaroni in mind.  You'll dream about the various flavor combinations you could create.... would bleu cheese go well with the goat cheese, or should I stick with the Dubliner?  If God eats, I promise this is on the menu in heaven at least once a week!  I mean seriously, if I were God (the world would be a mess, but that's not the point) I would have three cheese macaroni with bacon, and butter, and bacon drippings, and onions and..... every single day of the week.  Cause if I was God, that stuff would be so darn healthy you could thrive on it and broccoli would be fattening and clog your arteries, but again, I'm just sayin'.  But trust me, don't make it!  Okay fine, but I warned you!

And these aren't edited yet, but I couldn't help proving the point that we actually DID get some snow around these parts.... finally.....

The pile of clothes that welcomed guests to my sister-in-law's always tidy and neat home!  Bwahahahaha.... all part of my evil plan to force her to live like we do! hehehe

My GORGEOUS niece, seriously, think Boden is looking for models?  

Liam, little stinker!  This is what he does when I say "smile"...

And last but not least, this is what our little Russian princess thought of the cold snowy sledding experience.  :(

No words, just see for yourself....

I can't even do justice if I try to introduce this.  I've tried to think of something adequate to say, but how do you describe something God has done?  This is Melanie Hollis' daughter, she is precious!  And I'm so proud that Lydia is my friend!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kxKW8m6K74

Not Me Monday

I do not feel like I was bucked off a bull at the rodeo from all the sledding we did this weekend.

I do not get treated like the maid around here, my children the little royalty, me the faithful servant.  Get me this, get me that, help me with this, bring me that!  Anyone else ready for the snow to melt?

I am not seriously considering renting a very large heat lamp to hold over my city until every street in town is dry and ice free.  I have NOT considered marching my children down the street to the superintendents house and BEGGING him to open school tomorrow.

I have not been chanting a mantra of "melt, melt,  melt" since I woke up! :)

I am not considering just tossing out everything that's not found a home since our remodel.  If it's still sitting around looking for a home, maybe it would like to have another home altogether, right?

I am not going to brave the grocery today (not a good idea in the South after a snow storm in the first place) with all four kiddos because we are.... gasp..... deep breath...... sharp pains in my heart..... out of coffee!  Gasp, choke.... cough.... sniff sniff..... moment of silence!  I know.... HELLLOOOOOOO, has my husband noticed the name of the blog.  Don't you think it's important to say something when you use the last scoop (TWO DAYS AGO) to make the morning coffee..... sniff sniff sniff..... I mean, this is serious error on his part.... does he not fear for the safety of his children, who are on their fourth day of wet snow clothes and "Mom, can you help me get on these layers so I can go out again?" by leaving them here in the house with a coffee-less caffeine addict?  Sheesh!

So, what in the world have you NOT been up to?  Please share your insanity, it'll make me feel better, or maybe worse, but either way, it will be some small connection to the world outside my laundry room!

Weather Update and Secret Family Recipe

Finally, something to write home about... or write FROM home about, as the case may be!  I know this may seem like nothing to you guys in the far North, but for us, this is the first REAL snow we've had in 8 years.

I tried to get the snow falling in the background.  It's not big flakes, but it's showering down.

Not exactly a pretty photo, but a better perspective on how much we have! 

We even have enough snow to make the family favorite... SNOW CREAM!

Do you make Snow Cream?  My husband thinks it's unhealthy to eat snow because of "acid rain".  Bwahahahaha!  I told him there had not been talk of acid rain since 1976, but his mom told him that 30 years ago and he's still convinced that eating snow will kill you!

We fill a bowl with snow, mix in a healthy heaping portion of sugar and a little milk and a little coffee creamer and voila.... snow cream.  Better than any ice cream you ever tasted.  I have made one health modification to the family recipe... my mom used to mix in a raw egg and vanilla, but I think it's probably best that my kids don't eat the raw egg now and it grosses me out anyway.  Plus my creamer is French Vanilla so you get the thickness and flavor in one fell swoop.  (Is it "fell" or "fail"?)  

Liam has gone to visit a friend.  Jack too.  Connor is across the street playing.  Meg and I are in sweats on the couch, eating snow cream, listening to the fire crackle and watching our 107th episode of Max and Ruby.  (Where are their parents, by the way?  Is this elementary school child rabbit really raising her younger brother?  Why aren't they living with their grandmother, who clearly loves them?  Why hasn't anyone called the authorities?  Does anyone else think about these things when they watch cartoons?  Like why has Caillou's mom been pregnant for 20 years?  And why does Caillou's dad always wear a sweater and long pants, even when Caillous is in shorts and a T-shirt?  :)  Oh no, the cabin fever has already driven me over the edge.....

Another S"no" day

You have GOT to be kiddin' me!  Seriously!  Remember this?  Well here we go again!

Yes, that is my deck.  And yes, we are out of school again because of "snow" and possible dangerous driving conditions.  The teachers are really happy, I know, but Mama ain't happy!  What I really want to do is curl up in my pjs with my book and a fire and some more coffee.  But what my kids want to do is not watch me read a book in my jammies.  They want to be run here and there.  ugh! 

While we're looking at this photo, don't forget to admire the BARN that's almost the size of my house that my neighbor plopped in his back yard two feet from MY fence!  GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  That'll be great for resale! 

To add insult to injury on the no snow front, Brian is out of town for the night.  He had a business meeting in Atlanta.  Returning from Atlanta requires him to traverse "Mont Eagle", the one place in our state that probably WILL get some snow and ice today.  Great! 

And making it even WORSE is that my dear sweet friend/neighbor (who is the mother to my boys daily cohorts in crime) is out of town.  And she had the NERVE to take her kids with her.  People, this is NOT a good combination.  Not only is my confidante and fellow-commiserator gone, my boys entertainment is gone too.  And adding further insult, she's gone somewhere sunny and warm.  And she's gone somewhere fabulous for a very fun reason.  Did I mention that I hate her! :) Not really!  I love you, and you know it.... but right now I'm not speaking to you!  

So... since I don't have any fun snow pics to show you, I'll show you something really cuter... look at this new dress I got for Meg from my friend.... she made it! 

And, I might as well show you a little of what else has been happening around here....

This is my steps last week...

 

And my banister

And not exactly the "after" shot, but the "in progress" shot is behind Meg....

Ooooh, I'm so excited to have gotten rid of that carpet.... and check out my new spindles.  :)  Yay!  I'm so glad my friend (the builder) talked me into the iron.  I'm totally in LOVE!  I can't wait to show you the finished product, but it will probably be a few weeks.  I have lots of other before and after for you too! 

Adopting from Haiti, Africa, or Eastern Europe? All photos taken from CNN site on Haiti....

I need to speak very boldly and very plainly to you! 


THIS IS NOT A HANDBAG!!!!!







THIS IS NOT AN EVANGELICAL MOVEMENT YOU NEED TO JOIN!





THIS IS NOT THE LATEST ACCESSORY.





These are children.  They are children, JUST exactly like the ones that grew in your womb, just exactly like the ones that are sleeping in the bed right down the hall from you.  They are children who want and need all the same things your kids need.  They are adorable.  They are lovely, they are playful, they are scared, they are lonely, they are hungry, they are in crisis.  But they are NOT a trend!   


In addition, they are traumatized.  This doesn't mean that they will fall into your loving arms and thank you every day of their lives for plucking them out of their personal hell.   This means that the more stuff you shower them with, the more overwhelmed they will probably become.  They haven't likely ever had the amount of "stuff" that we possess here, so instead of being like a "normal" kid in Disneyland, they will most likely be too overwhelmed to appreciate it and actually have very little interest in any of it.  Or they might want EVERYTHING they see and not be able to handle being told "no".  Sometimes they can't go to sleep in a room by themselves (likely never had to even try.)  This does not mean that they need to be conditioned the way you conditioned your birth babies to self soothe.  This means they need comfort and closeness and reassurance that you will be here and that you will be in the room with them until they feel okay for you to be in your own room.  For some children, this will be 6 days, for others 6 months.  They need to decide, not you.  It might mean that you sleep on the floor in their room.  It might mean that they sleep on yours.  But it will definitely mean that you don't get to sleep as usual, at least for a while.  


Children who are victims of trauma are not always easy to parent.  It's dangerous to generalize because of course, there is always the exception to every rule.  But it's never a good decision to adopt a child because someone you  know has done it and you want to be a part of what they have found!  I'm glad that there is alot of publicity and many walls are coming down for orphans, particularly orphans of color.  But the danger is that this is a "bandwagon" that people want to hop onto. And once you hop on it, there's no getting off, no matter how bad it hurts.


I want to be fully honest with you here.  I have adopted three times and twice I brought home children who blended right into our family (with a LOT of expected attachment work) and have not looked back much.  But one time I brought home a child who is going to struggle with alot of things throughout his life as a result of the time he spent as an orphan.  Many things will be harder for him than they should be.  No amount of love or wishing will change it.  Alot of hard work is being done to help it be as easy as possible, but it's never going to be what it could have been for him.  The work we do every single day is not glamorous, it isn't something people say, "Boy I wish I could go through that!", and it isn't something I would have thought I could handle.  But this precious child has taught me SO much about God and His love and relationships.  Every single day, though, I wish I didn't need to learn the lesson.  I wish he could just get up and dress himself and do his own homework and talk in a normal voice and not move around in exaggerated motions and just brush his teeth without prompting 10 times and didn't have to take multiple (expensive) meds daily.  Every day I have a moment where I just wish I could have an "easy" day.  But then I have to pray and move on because I'm not living in easy.  I'm living in faith and trust in God to get me through.  I'm living with a kind of dependence I wouldn't have had without this special child.  God clearly put this particular child in my family to protect me from myself.  But He also gave me this particular child so that I could openly speak to you about the difficulties and also about the right thing to do in the face of those difficulties.  I can assure you, no one is signing up for the work that traumatized, unattached, alcohol affected children require.  No one is hoping for that when they dream of parenting.  But for some, that is what we get.  And if that is your God-given path, then I will tell you flat out that to walk that path in any way other than total humility and resignation is dishonoring and prolonging your heartache.  You may get home and realize that the child in your life is inconvenient, it might not be as fulfilling as you thought it would be to change poopy pants on an 8 year old, it's not very rewarding to have a child that shuts down every time they go to a birthday party because they can't handle the stimulation, it's overwhelming to have your new child and your other children all regressing at the same time and wanting every ounce of you every moment, and a whole host of other things that I or someone I know have experienced.  Truly, when I say you will be worn to a nub by adoption, I am not kidding.  I sat with Gwen in the hospital.  Yes, it's awe inspiring that she can adopt four orphans, at least one of whom was wounded and scarred physically for all the world to see, but I can assure you, there is no great energy buzz sitting at the hospital for days on end or changing bandages on a 3-year-old's head every day.  Gwen will be the first to tell you that it's not glamorous, but she is walking the path that God put her on.  I can tell you it's not glamorous, but I too am walking the road less traveled.  Sometimes it's lonely, but God!  But God didn't call you to be rewarded on earth.  He didn't call you to bask in the glory of your good works.  He called you to be HIS HANDS and HIS FEET!  And if you remember correctly, His hands were touching stinky, dirty, homeless, lice-ridden, unlawful and ungrateful people.  His feet were going into homes down in the projects where the hookers hang out.  And he's just asking you to love your own child more than you love your comfort, your reputation, and your sleep.


I DO believe that we are all called to love the orphan.  I believe that MOST people are capable of adopting and should adopt.  I believe that if you examine your reasons for NOT adopting and find that most of them are a matter of personal comfort, then you might want to challenge yourself to step up and take MORE of the reward that God wants to give you!  I believe that if everyone who is capable would actually do it, there would not be any true orphans in the world.  I believe that everyone who has adopted should have adopted, but I also KNOW that alot of people who have adopted should have done a better job and been alot more deliberate.  I know alot of folks who should have put themselves aside more (myself included) and quit hanging on to how they wanted it to be and start embracing how God gave it to them.  I KNOW there are alot of resources out there for folks, but many of those folks are too proud or too stubborn to grasp what is there for them.  Like addicts avoiding rehab, people don't want to face the help because they don't want to do the hard work that it will require of them.  Most people don't really want to change.  They want God to make them righteous right where they are!  They just want to continue on in their ignorance hoping that with time, the child will just conform to their ideals and life will be okay again.  I believe BOTH extremes are possible... that everyone SHOULD pray very specifically about whether they are being called to adopt, I believe that the answer to that question in the great majority of circumstances is "YES", and I believe at the same time that people need to not be adopting just because it's "trendy", but because they want to get down in the dirty trenches with our Lord and get DIRTY!  Dirty is exactly what it sounds like... you'll literally be worn to a nub, tired, sometimes bitter, sometimes smelly, sometimes you won't like yourself or those around you or sometimes you might not even particularly like God for what He is asking of you.  Some mornings you won't want to get out of bed, you will curse the sun, you will dread your day, you will go kicking and screaming like a three year old into the battle that you fought so feebly yesterday and know you will have to fight it again tomorrow.   But when you see heaven (and you will), you will no longer see through the dingy glass of the world, but face to face, and you will know that even everything you gave wasn't nearly enough! 


Proverbs 3:28
"Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later, I'll give it tomorrow" - when you now have it with you!"

Silly bands are driving me silly!

Do you have this problem at your house?

You see why it's a "problem"?  These things are EVERYWHERE!!!!!

And this is the scene at my house almost every afternoon... behind closed doors, "insider" trading, as I like to call it.  If you have the "rare" bands, you're in power.  I hate what power brings out in people!

Just look at all that rubber.... money..... power.... fun.  These are the boys bestest friends on the planet.  They are like my fifth and sixth children.  They are here almost every day.  And the trading is serious business.  Even Connor knows which ones are rare, who has what, and which ones to trade for.  It's like kiddy currency.

By the way, the kids are all in disguise because we want to protect the identity of these powerful officials! :)

Proverbs 3:27 The Message translation

"Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God's hand for that person."

A good book can change your life!

For some reason, I am always inclined to start every single post with the word "Okay", like I am continuing a conversation with you....

For me, if there is a quote in a book that I totally connect with, one that ends up in my sidebar over there on the right, it really doesn't matter if it's early in the book or on the last page, that book automatically becomes a one of my "must reads."

Last night, on page 49, a whole paragraph slapped me right out of my reading-less funk.  I am reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett.  A friend loaned it to me and I cracked it open yesterday, totally ignoring the three other books on my bedside table that I have been "wanting" to read, two of which I have started to no avail.

Here's the quote, I hope you get a kick out of it like I did.  Then I hope it challenges you like it challenged me.

In this chapter, Miss Celia (a white woman married to a wealthy man) is asking Minny (her secret maid, and a black woman), "Are you happy, Minny?"

"Course I's happy.  You happy too.  Big house, big yard, husband looking after you."  I frown at Miss Celia and I make sure she can see it.  Because ain't that white people for you, always wondering if they are happy enough."

And ain't it the truth?

Haiti Status Update

Nothing seems to be happening. I think things were going a little too fast to keep a handle on in the midst of such chaos and they have halted much action until they can assess and evaluate.  I am sure that calls and e-mails started flooding in and they were overwhelmed with the onslaught of folks wanting to help the Haitians.  I am always encouraged at how galvanized we are as a community when a tragedy happens.

I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but I do think they are doing the right thing by SLOWING down the process. Now if they stop the process, I'll be mad as a wet hen.  But I think when children's lives are involved, you have to be sure you have a good handle on what you're doing.  Don't get me wrong, time is of the essence and if I could pluck every one of them out of their situation, I would do it tomorrow.  But in fact, there has to be a plan in place to track the children and ensure their safety once they are in the US.  We have to have someone following the kids like a social worker, who can make sure they aren't getting passed around like a puppy.  We have to have a huge community of support to care for these misplaced children.  So while I would ideally like to see this happen in the next week or so, I doubt it will because I've never seen our government do anything that quickly, and the Haitian government couldn't possibly be thinking about it.

I saw last night that 80% of Haiti lives below the poverty level for that country.  I can assure you, there are alot of orphans who are not there as a result of the earthquake.  What I don't want to see happen is for it to become "trendy" to have a Haitian orphan.  So many people jumped on the international band-wagon after Angelina and Madonna made it "cool" and I don't want that same thing to happen to Haiti.  It's not always a good thing for a child to be placed outside an orphanage if it's not a good home that wants to parent a child.  I've said it a million times, but people who adopt because they want to save an orphan usually lack the stamina to parent their children through the traumas they bring with them.  If your pay-off happens the minute you touch down in America, then you're in for a very difficult time in the months ahead.  I don't want people to take Haitian orphans for the "thrill" of the rescue, only to realize that de-lousing, de-worming, ridding parasites that possibly the entire family will pass around, transitioning a child to family life, etc. are long and drawn out processes that take alot of energy for very little pay-off in the short-run.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here.  I guess what I'm saying is that IF the government is slowing down on things in order to get a handle on it, but not going to abandon the idea altogether (still remains to be seen) then it's a good thing.  If they are going to put the brakes on because the effort is too large, then that is another reason why government can do very few things well that individuals can do better!  It seems SO simple to me... if only they would ASK me, I could tell them HOW to manage this process, then I could have given them my very simple solution.  It's simply unimaginable to me that folks wouldn't be on board with plucking these children out of the danger zone, but of course, as soon at the jerk (you know, satan) got wind of something that was going to glorify God, he would have to stick his big ugly nose into it and start to scatter all sorts of seeds of doubt, etc.  JERK!

John 14:15-17 from The Message translation (emphasis mine)

"If you love me, show it by DOING what I've told you.  I will talk to the Father, and He'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you.  This Friend is the Spirit of Truth.  The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for.  But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be IN you!"

I just wanted to raise my hand!

I really just wanted to raise my hand to volunteer, you know, like in the old days when the teacher needed someone to clean her erasers and you just wiggled in your seat, waving your arm like crazy so you could go outside and bang those erasers on the sidewalk for ten minutes of fresh air.  I want to go back to those days, when volunteering to do the right thing is as simple as saying, "I'll help!" to the person in authority.  But as we get older (and more cynical maybe) things are never that easy.  Do you think that's what Jesus meant when He said, "Come to me as little children"?  Anyway, the point of this story is that I have called three government agencies today.  Talked to someone from Congresswoman Blackburn's office, been routed directly to the "person who is coordinating this effort" and no one seems to be able to say, "Okay, we'll take you up on your offer."

You see, I have spent the last three days (since Sunday) trying to figure out how to get a group of Haitian orphans to Tennessee for fostering until their country is safe for return or families are found for them.  I know it's possible because it's already happened in Indiana and Pennsylvania.  They are trying to make way for it, Napalitano's Humanitarian Parole was a great start.  But I'm not talking about children who have families waiting for them, I'm talking about children who are on no ones radar screen.

Where are the churches on this?  Where are the outraged mothers?  Where are the Christians, the James 1:27 people?  Why is there not a buzzing of phone lines of folks begging the TN Congressmen and Senators to make this happen?  And why do I keep getting rerouted no matter what organization I talk to?

Every time Brian and I have been in an orphanage we have said, "If we could put people in front of these children, if they could see and touch these faces, then there wouldn't be an orphan in the world."  And that's the opportunity we have here.  If we could get these precious faces here, I promise you there would be no orphans in Haiti at the end of this disaster and God would have turned one of the worst disasters of our time into a blessing and glorification of grand proportion.  Can you imagine it with me?  A country as poor as Haiti with not ONE orphan to be had?  Can't you hear the angels singing in anticipation of something like that?  Seriously, it's almost too bright for me to even imagine or try to behold.  I just want to be a tiny part of something like that.  Inconvenience and selfishness and comfort aside, I want to be in the trenches with God on something like that!  I want to be totally bare and used up for Him and have Him say to me, "Thank you for giving everything you had and not holding back from me."  And I can tell you, it's not an easy thing trying to find someone who will tell me exactly what I can DO.  I just know I have to DO something.

I was painting Jack's room on Sunday and watching the news and there were times when they showed orphan babies (under 1) with no formula, living in the back of a trailer truck, and I just sat in the floor and sobbed!  Begging, "God, please show YOURSELF!"  And I know He wants to show Himself, but we have to fight our way through the ruler of this world to get to it.

Won't you please pray with me!  There are alot of people hurting, no doubt, from this tragedy.  But can you even imagine that you are the absolute least among a nation that is in total turmoil.  No one is coming for you.  No one is prioritizing you.  You have no voice.  You are at the bottom of the list, and yet you are among the most vulnerable.  Please, hit your knees tonight and just bang down the doors of heaven on behalf of these children!

This verse has never meant more to me.... I'm CLINGING to this promise for the children of Haiti and asking God to reveal Himself to them in a mighty way!  Possibly through the hands of some Tennesseans?

John 14:18
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

Proud Mama's Heart!

My big boys (that includes my husband) are leaving today for a little weekend ski-trip.  After the kids got loaded into the car, picked their movie, got buckled up, etc. Jack asked me to come around to his side of the car.  When I got around he whispered, "Mom, will you go get my Bible so I can read it on the way?"  What?  WILL I?  Are you kidding.  I really and truly do NOT know what has gotten into that boy (well, actually, I guess it's the Holy Spirit that's gotten into him.)  This is a major turn for him.  This is a child I have prayed for over and over because he was so "cool" when it came to all things spiritual.  He just never seemed to warm to church or Bible reading or praying, etc.  And you know what, God was working in him when I didn't think He was.

Did you ever feel like you were perched on the precipice of something but you didn't know what?  I do!  I feel like there is something big and heavy out there, just around the corner.  I can sense it.  I can feel it coming and it's a very unsettling feeling for me.  I'm "nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rockers" as my Granma used to say.  It's a cagey feeling.  I don't know what it is, but I'm very antsy and I'm very ready to see what it is that God is gearing me up for.

Speaking of "gear"... 147 Million Orphans is donating 50% of their profits to a Haitian orphanage right now!  If you want to help Haiti, head over to 147millionorphans.com and get your favs.  There is the most adorable new hot pink burn-out shirt that I got for Meg.  It's so cute and just the perfect color for little girls in the summer time.  And there's all sorts of new stuff I don't have yet.  If you don't have the yoga pants, take my word for it, you WANT some.  They are great for guys OR girls to use as loungewear.  I practically live in mine when I can.

I had an encounter last night with someone who is not a believer.  He believes in "some higher being" that guides us.  But he doesn't "buy the whole Jesus thing."  (It's hard for me to even write that.)  I never feel confident and comfortable in those situations where the Lord clearly pulls me into conversation with someone who's lost and then expects me to speak the truth.  I just don't feel strong enough in "the right thing to say" to be the one.  But on the other hand, maybe there's not another one.  So, the whole time we're having this talk over dinner, I'm just praying in my head, "Your Words, not mine, Lord.  Your Words!"  I have NO idea if I even planted a tiny seed in his mind.  But it was a very interesting conversation.  The thing that broke my heart was that he grew up in the church, attended a private Christian elementary school, and has parents who are faithful church-goers from the sound of things.  But his story is the one that I hear over and over.  He was turned off to Jesus by the dogmatic and judgmental attitudes of those who profess to follow Him.  Isn't that such a shame.  Did you ever read "The Poisonwood Bible"?  If not, you gotta get it.  The basic thing is that all of us at one time or another can kill the spirit of another person by following exactly the path we think Jesus called us to.  But in reality, we are leading that person so far from the Jesus path that they may never find their way back.  I don't like to try to beat people over the head with my Bible.  As Beth Moore says, I don't want to be such an exclamation point.  I want to live an exclamation point life, but speak words that are easy to swallow, non-threatening and non-judgmental when it comes to unbelievers.  I could have come close to believing the way this man believes.  As a child, I was around alot of folks from my church and surrounding churches who had "competitive churchiness".  In other words, they all believed that their particular church was better and there was a pecking order of prestige among the churches in town.  Folks wore their membership like some people wear Greek letters.  If I hadn't had such a strong believing family, I could have easily been turned away.  I was completely turned from my "religion" to the furthest thing I could become and still be Christian (thus my Catholic conversion.)  Anyway, it was just a really interesting experience for me.  It was a great reminder that there are people in my everyday life, churchgoers included, who are not believers.  This man is a very fixed presence in our daily life, he attends church, and both of his children attend Christian schools. It's so easy to just assume that everyone around you believes and knows the Truth.  It was a good wake up call for me.  And also a reminder that I need to have more Words hidden in my heart for such occasions so that I am not leading someone astray.

Okay, I'm off to take photos of some of the exciting things happening in my attic today! :)  Photos next week.