My big boys (that includes my husband) are leaving today for a little weekend ski-trip. After the kids got loaded into the car, picked their movie, got buckled up, etc. Jack asked me to come around to his side of the car. When I got around he whispered, "Mom, will you go get my Bible so I can read it on the way?" What? WILL I? Are you kidding. I really and truly do NOT know what has gotten into that boy (well, actually, I guess it's the Holy Spirit that's gotten into him.) This is a major turn for him. This is a child I have prayed for over and over because he was so "cool" when it came to all things spiritual. He just never seemed to warm to church or Bible reading or praying, etc. And you know what, God was working in him when I didn't think He was.
Did you ever feel like you were perched on the precipice of something but you didn't know what? I do! I feel like there is something big and heavy out there, just around the corner. I can sense it. I can feel it coming and it's a very unsettling feeling for me. I'm "nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rockers" as my Granma used to say. It's a cagey feeling. I don't know what it is, but I'm very antsy and I'm very ready to see what it is that God is gearing me up for.
Speaking of "gear"... 147 Million Orphans is donating 50% of their profits to a Haitian orphanage right now! If you want to help Haiti, head over to 147millionorphans.com and get your favs. There is the most adorable new hot pink burn-out shirt that I got for Meg. It's so cute and just the perfect color for little girls in the summer time. And there's all sorts of new stuff I don't have yet. If you don't have the yoga pants, take my word for it, you WANT some. They are great for guys OR girls to use as loungewear. I practically live in mine when I can.
I had an encounter last night with someone who is not a believer. He believes in "some higher being" that guides us. But he doesn't "buy the whole Jesus thing." (It's hard for me to even write that.) I never feel confident and comfortable in those situations where the Lord clearly pulls me into conversation with someone who's lost and then expects me to speak the truth. I just don't feel strong enough in "the right thing to say" to be the one. But on the other hand, maybe there's not another one. So, the whole time we're having this talk over dinner, I'm just praying in my head, "Your Words, not mine, Lord. Your Words!" I have NO idea if I even planted a tiny seed in his mind. But it was a very interesting conversation. The thing that broke my heart was that he grew up in the church, attended a private Christian elementary school, and has parents who are faithful church-goers from the sound of things. But his story is the one that I hear over and over. He was turned off to Jesus by the dogmatic and judgmental attitudes of those who profess to follow Him. Isn't that such a shame. Did you ever read "The Poisonwood Bible"? If not, you gotta get it. The basic thing is that all of us at one time or another can kill the spirit of another person by following exactly the path we think Jesus called us to. But in reality, we are leading that person so far from the Jesus path that they may never find their way back. I don't like to try to beat people over the head with my Bible. As Beth Moore says, I don't want to be such an exclamation point. I want to live an exclamation point life, but speak words that are easy to swallow, non-threatening and non-judgmental when it comes to unbelievers. I could have come close to believing the way this man believes. As a child, I was around alot of folks from my church and surrounding churches who had "competitive churchiness". In other words, they all believed that their particular church was better and there was a pecking order of prestige among the churches in town. Folks wore their membership like some people wear Greek letters. If I hadn't had such a strong believing family, I could have easily been turned away. I was completely turned from my "religion" to the furthest thing I could become and still be Christian (thus my Catholic conversion.) Anyway, it was just a really interesting experience for me. It was a great reminder that there are people in my everyday life, churchgoers included, who are not believers. This man is a very fixed presence in our daily life, he attends church, and both of his children attend Christian schools. It's so easy to just assume that everyone around you believes and knows the Truth. It was a good wake up call for me. And also a reminder that I need to have more Words hidden in my heart for such occasions so that I am not leading someone astray.
Okay, I'm off to take photos of some of the exciting things happening in my attic today! :) Photos next week.