Tonight Meg fell asleep in my arms. As lovely as the weekend was alone with my hubby, I have to admit, if I am being honest with myself, that it did take a bit of a toll on Meg. She has not been easy to put down for naps or bedtime since she got back. She doesn't really want me out of her sight and she wants to be held more than her norm. She does calm down pretty quickly at nap time, but at night she has been pretty hysterically upset if I try to leave her before she is drowsy. So tonight when I turned out her light (still holding her, ready to rock and sing) she went into overdrive and actually smacked me pretty hard. I ended up holding her for a long time and telling her that even though she may go visit, she will always be with Mommy and Daddy and that we will never leave her. She calmed down after a few minutes and then I just rocked her until she fell asleep. It's so sweet to hold your baby while they are sleeping, particularly if it's probably your last baby (no one panic BRIAN, I say probably because I have learned never to tempt God to prove me wrong.) I just held her and rocked, knowing that those times are numbered for me, at least with my own children, and that I didn't really care about the laundry or the dishes, those are still there now, and my baby just won't be a baby that much longer.
I had a conversation tonight with my sister-in-law who asked me if I was sad to be getting rid of so much of my baby stuff. She was asking me because she lives around the corner from me so I unload a trunk load of plastic on her every chance I get and I guess she must think there is SO much that I am sad about it. Truthfully, I think you know when you are done. And I really feel like I am. At least I don't feel like I will have another baby in my home. I would never say never to adoption because I know that if God called us at some point to take in a child, Brian and I probably would have the heart for it, but I don't think we will ever pursue another adoption like we sought out our children. God is gently speaking to my heart that there are other ways to help orphans than actually bringing them into my own home. In fact, with the money an adoption costs, you can help ALOT of orphans in Uganda, or most anywhere else for that matter. It's not a mother and a home, but it's more than they have now, and there are others out there who are called, it's just about spreading the word and planting seeds. I have to trust God for the harvest. And that's how I can go on and actually function while carrying this burden, I know God carries it too. So, while it does make me a bit nostalgic, it's not sad, so much, that there is a mass exodus of baby gear from our household. Now when I take the crib down for the fourth and final time, that will be a day for much condolence, I assure you!
Speaking of sweet people who are called, my sweet, precious neighbor, Janet, stopped me today and told me that she wants to make a donation to my friend, Gwen, for her adoption. See, there was a gold party in our neighborhood last week and Janet sold some gold. I went to the party just to see my friends, but I didn't have any gold to take because I gave all my gold to Gwen for her adoption fundraiser. I was thrilled to do it because adoption is close to my heart and I love Gwen. It wasn't a sacrificial gift, I gave something I wasn't using to someone I love and it was very easy to do. Now Janet, on the other hand, does not know Gwen. She has never met her. Janet does not have adopted children (though she loves mine and several others in the neighborhood) and as far as I know, she wasn't adopted herself either. But Janet is giving this money to Gwen because she wants to have a part in these two babies finding a family. I was SO touched by Janet's generosity. Really? You want to help someone you don't know accomplish a cause that you haven't experienced first-hand? You want to share in your treasures? I didn't expect it, I certainly wouldn't have ever even thought of it. And I KNOW Gwen didn't think of it. But I was so humbled by Janet's offer for my friend. I was so humbled by how generous this was. It doesn't matter in the least to me what amount Janet gives. I don't even want to know, I want to give it to Gwen in an envelope and not know what is inside (if it's $2 or $20, it doesn't change the motivation.) I just want to notice that today God sent me a neighbor to show me what it's supposed to look like. He didn't want me to miss the fact that I had read today from 2 Corinthians about sharing in our abundance and He sent someone to my path only minutes later to show me what it looks like when we do that for one another. He answered a prayer for me today in a way that He meant for me to take notice of, and I wanted to tell you too, because our God is BIG, He is REAL, He cares about the poor and oppressed and orphaned and ANYONE else who is hurting.
2 Corinthians 8:13-15
"Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little."
Thanks Janet, for being my neighbor today! And Gwen's neighbor too!