Stuck in two worlds....

Tonight, I told Brian (he's still going by his actual name) that I am stuck between two worlds.  First, I am missing my friends. On the one hand, there is this in Tennessee.....

My precious niece, who I get to live around the corner from... ahhh, family!

Our fun cubby bedrooms, that are filled with friends every day!  And my nephew, Harry!

Our fun friends, and Friday night Mexican! 

Our neighborhood!

The boat and OUR DOG!!!!!!!

Other great friends!

The CAT!

Our best buddies!

More family... not that we saw them any more often, but they were there if we needed them! 

Our sweet Hopey girl! 

Gentry's Farm and MORE friends!

This amazing individual... and this good hair... what happened to that?

And her!  Sister!

I can't help but giggle... nothing but funniness coming from this little one!

Fostering dogs...I miss it!  And I miss Shawn, who I foster WITH!

Fall colors.... ahhhh!  And cool weather!

Changing leaves... and Mickey!

"non" snow days....

And these goof balls.... 

And this amazing family... I miss them the mostest!

But some day, I'll be sad that I can't go to the beach for sunset in a two minute walk!

Or that I don't have a pool in my back yard.

And that I'm not a 25 minute drive from this... and the sea turtles!

And this isn't just at the end of my block....

And when I look out my back door at night, this won't be what I see a year from now....

The Pali Overlook won't be a 25 minute drive from my house....

Where the wind blows harder than anywhere I've ever been... consistently... day after day.

(My little Marilynn Monroe!)

These gorgeous views will be a memory.

Rainbows will be over the Primus building, not a palm tree (right Sandra?)

Hokulani may or may not be part of our future....

But this little angel definitely WILL be there! 

Thank you God, for Roots and Wings!  

We're "with the crew" now

So, yesterday, they filmed Episode 7 of Hawaii Five-O right on our street.  They were filming at a house down the street from us, but their stuff was spread from one end of the street to another.  It was really neat. The Amazing Amy stayed out there watching for a good part of the afternoon.  And guess what, she gave a boy her phone number.  And he gave her his "Camera Crew" shirt.  How cool is that?  Alex O'Loughlin took a photo with Amy and Meg.  It turned out blurry, but still, it's proof that he's a nice guy.  And he even looks friendly in the photo, doesn't he?

It sort of cracks me up that a "big budget" TV production would have this dinky little sign on a piece of typing paper to alert folks that they have to go to a different bus stop.  This sign is what initially clued us in to the fact that they were filming on our street. 

This is at the filming site, Connor and Meg were just taking refuge from a little afternoon sprinkle.

On other fronts, we have another Harrison living with us in Hawaii.  Seriously, you didn't think I could go a very long time without a pet did you?  Actually, this is Amazing Amy's pet, but she is sharing her with us.  Her name is Hokulani (hoe-koo-la-knee), which means "Star from Heaven."  She's pretty friendly as bunnies go (though most of them aren't big on being held and she's no exception.)  The kids are having alot of fun with her.  It was SOOOOO hard for me.  We went to the Humane Association and I wanted to leave there with about ten of the animals.  But I'm trying to keep it simple here, so a bunny that we can share with Amazing Amy is probably just the right ticket.  Hokulani is sitting in my lap right now as I type this and she's the cutest dang flop eared calico colored bunny you've ever seen.

My dad reports that Vince has loved rides in the back of the pick-up and that he is a true farm dog now... you know, the kind that will sit in the truck and wait for you while you go into a store and get a cold drink.  I never thought I'd see the day, but they could actually do a show about my dad and dogs, he's a regular Cesar Milan.

Sorry I don't have any great photos of sea turtles or other Hawaiian life, we have settled in to the extent that laundry and dishes have kicked in.  Regular life happens, even in paradise! :)  But the boys are on fall break next week and we will be exploring quite a bit so I should have some more exciting adventures to report.

Okay, I'm boring myself to tears.  Hope you are all having a FABULOUS Thursday.

In the "clampets go Hawaiian" category

Yes, I know... I've been all hoity toity about our arrival here, like we haven't embarrassed ourselves or made Tennessee's reputation any worse around the globe, but here's the truth:

1.  How many times can members of one family run through a screen or go head on into a sliding glass door before they start to realize that it's not always open?  We even put stickers on the glass, but it doesn't seem to help.  Meg and Jack have done it multiple times.  Connor and ME once each.  Seriously, both Connor and I have knocked the screen out of the track.  Meg and Jack have both run into the glass so many times we know the sound now without asking what it was.  Let me tell you, it's a shock when you think you're walking outside but are stopped by some semi-invisible force-field.  I know how Luke Skywalker felt now!
1.a. The Amazing Amy has actually run into HER screen door too... which is just a normal old screen door with major black frame around it.  Total Rednecks!

2.  We have successfully seduced the neighbor's cat, Pumba, with cans of tuna.  In my animal withdrawals, I couldn't help myself.  And now he cries outside The Amazing Amy's door at night wanting more food.  The neighbor (who actually owns Pumba) approached us tonight to say that they were worried because they haven't seen him in 2 days.  Had we seen him?  "Yes, he's been at our house.  I can't imagine why he isn't coming home."  Hmmmmmm?  He's some fancy shmansy breed of chinchilla persian.... we don't have them there sorts of cats in TN.... we just have the plain old kind you find on the side of the road!
2.a. Speaking of cats you find on the side of the road, our kitty, Mickey (you know, the one that needed hip replacement right before we left) has been doctored back to health by the fine folks at Battleground Hospital for Animals.  He is walking with a slight limp, but has all four legs and will soon be ready to go home with some lucky family who is willing to adopt him... hint hint friends!

3.  I framed the sign my BFF, Sonja, gave me.  It says, "Think Globally... Act Hillbilly".  I LOVE it... I put it on the porch where I "take my coffee" in the mornings! :)  Yes, I "take my coffee" now.  That's fancy talk for "sit down and try to jolt myself awake with a mega-dose of caffeine as I curse the sun."

4.  I told the neighbors that we liked to swim before bedtime and we hoped it wasn't bothering them.  The neighbors said, "Oh, we hear you guys!"  Does that mean we are loud?  I guess opening the front door and yelling, "Jack.... Liam.... time for dinner" would be out of the question here.  Even at home it occurred to me that it was a bit "farmish" for me to do that, but that's how I was raised.  I got "called in for dinner" before the days of cell phones and iPods, so every child needs their parents to embarrass them from time to time, just to keep it real, right?

5.  Brian "lost" the keys to his new Jeep.  He bought a Jeep on Thursday and lost the ONLY key on Sunday.  You should have heard the words coming out of his mouth this morning at 6:45 when he was trying to leave for work.  Boy, I haven't heard words like that since I used to play golf.  Anyway, Amazing Amy found them... they were sitting on top of the dust pan in the garage?  Lord only knows.....

6.  I know it's a shock that someone as organized and attentive as me.... oh look, a chicken..... would fail to visit the hairdresser before coming out to another country Hawaii.  But, I did.... and so, my roots were about 3 inches long.  It's not a very good look when you combine with that the fact that I decided to give myself some dramatic highlighted bangs this summer and dissolved half my bangs in the process.  What?  I didn't know that if you wadded up hair when it had bleach on it it would spontaneously combust.  Well, it didn't actually catch fire, but it did get smoking hot and when I unfurled it from it's clip, about two inches of dissolved away in my hands.  What was left was basically clear.  Add that to hair that had already suffered some major sort of paralyzation from the lice treatment we did back in April and you have some not so nice affects.  Anyway, that's way back in June.  Fast forward to September, Hawaii, and ten inch roots.... I, in my infinite wisdom, decided it would just be best to try to skip the whole bleach thing this time around and go with some sort of semi-permanent (something that I don't understand.... isn't that actually an oxy-moron?  I mean, if it's permanent, how can it be "semi") hair color.  I selected a shade called "Caramel" because for some reason, I always love the thought of caramel colored hair.  What I got was a nice shade of lavender.  NOT joking!  My hair was actually a lovely shade of purple when I got out of the shower.  So.... it was either CUT IT all off (think Sinead O'Connor) or go super-dark.  I opted to go super-dark, which explains yesterday's photo at the Bay and the dark hair.  I still may end up having to cut it off because the color is fading suspiciously fast.  I'm reminded of that song, Sunscreen, where he says, "Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you are 30 it will look 85."  Yeah, maybe I should have remembered the song BEFORE all the hair drama! :)

Say Hello to my Little Friends

We've had a fun weekend exploring the island.  We drove to Pearl Harbor and up to the North Shore yesterday, stopped in Haleiwa and played around in the tide pools.  We had intended to go to Turtle Bay, but we just couldn't get enough energy after our active start.  We spent five hours at Pearl Harbor.  It was great.  It's really something I didn't know if I would ever see or not, but considering my birthday is Pearl Harbor Day, I am really glad I got a chance to go.  We did pretty much everything there was to do there.  From there we drove the Kamehameha Highway up to Haleiwa, the famous surfing town on the North Shore.  The waves were bigger, but not the colossal waves you hear about (those come later in the fall.)  We stopped at a reef where there are lots of tide pools and the kids had a great time picking up little crabs, etc.  It was alot of fun.

Today, Brian and I got up and went to Hanauma Bay. It's not far from our house.  We spent a couple of hours there snorkeling around.  The highlight was the sea turtle that we got to "meet."  He was just a few feet away from us, swimming totally unbothered by the presence of about 5 swimmers that gathered around to get a closer look at him.  Amazing!

I don't want to take for granted the incredible beauty and atmosphere of this place.  I can't believe that God has given us the opportunity to live here.  I don't think that I could ever get sick of or "used to" looking at the amazing scenery and landscape here.  I told Brian this morning that I think God was just totally showing off when He created this place.

Brian and I drove up to the top of Diamond Head last night and looked out over the ocean.  The moon is almost completely full (starting to wane a little) and SO bright.  The past few nights we've had moon-shadows on our patio, it's so bright.  Standing there, on the edge of thousands of miles of water, makes me feel so miniscule.  The island in general creates a backdrop for feeling small.  When you stand on the beach of the mainland and look out at so much water, you don't feel quite so small, knowing that thousands of miles of land stretch on behind you.  Standing on this tiny island, literally just an up-rising of a sea mountain, knowing you are standing on the tip of a mountain (volcano, whatever) and knowing that there is nothing for miles and miles is totally overwhelming and humbling.  I really thought I might feel a bit claustrophobic here, but it's actually just made me realize my humanity and the smallness of me.  It's a great reminder.

I am thankful for the adventure of learning a totally new place, new culture, and new lifestyle.  It didn't seem so huge in my 20's when Brian and went to California.  I mean, I loved the change of lifestyle then, but it wasn't such a monumental undertaking.  Now, we get all the pains and glory of growing pains.  We get to navigate this with our children and it helps us not focus so much attention on what's going on with us.  Don't get me wrong, I miss my friends like mad.  Our friend, "Leenda" had a surprise birthday party last night and I really wanted to be there celebrating with everyone.  But I don't get the luxury of focusing on what I'm feeling.  I have the privilege of making sure my kids are emotionally okay.  And that is such a blessing.

Not that we are having anything other than joy and blessings, but the words of James seem to say so beautifully what I am thinking, "Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy.  For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything."  James 1:2-4  As I said, I don't want to give the impression that we are experiencing "trouble."  Believe me, many people would trade my "troubles" for theirs.  It's amazing what we've been given.  It's amazing the doors that God has opened and the comfort with which He has allowed us to transition (almost better than we have it at home, minus the community of support.)  But still, I know there are lessons, even in this luxury.

This is the green sea turtle that visited us today.

Amy, Brian and the kiddos at Pearl Harbor

On the lookout deck aboard the USS Bowfin

The Amazing Amy at the North Shore

Me, being goofy at Hanauma.  I'll explain the hair another day... believe me, you don't want to know.

See, I told you God was just showing off.  Why else make a fish that looks like a rainbow?

Don't know why the photos are out of order... this is the boys in one of the submarine control rooms.

Brian going through a "door" on the sub.  No thank you to submarine life for me! 

Go figure, all of a sudden, Connor wants to pose at every single photo op.  This is the same boy who never wanted his photo taken 6 months ago. 

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto!

Oh goodness, some things just can't be explained in words.  The feeling I get when I drive around here is one of them.  I sincerely miss my friends.  I miss them like the moon misses the sun (it can't shine in it's absence) but this place is more of a melting pot than Nashville.  I didn't think that was really possible.  To meet someone who's actually FROM Nashville is a very rare thing.  Almost no one is a native.  But truly, here, there are SO many folks who are here because they chose to come, give up whatever it was they had before, and just make this place home.  It's comforting to drive around and see and know that so many people are just here because they get the privilege to do it, not because they have to.  I think that probably doesn't make any sense... sorry.  But it's just a feeling I can't explain.  It's like you're not alone, even though you don't know another soul.

The one thing that's difficult for me is that I don't think many people here "get" the whole "orphan thing."  I don't even know if they realize there actually IS an "orphan thing", or even an orphan for that matter.  I wear my 147 gear and never get anything but confused comments or wondering glances.  It's a whole different feeling to when I wear it at home and people know my passion, they know my heart, and they know there are orphans.  Okay, God, what in the world are You thinking... seriously, You must know I am NOT the right girl to get any message from you right.  Remember Jonah?  Well, I have a feeling I'll be spending some time in the belly of a whale sometime in this Hawaiian adventure.

On other fronts, I'm pretty much learning a new language... at least learning to read it.  I keep feeling bad for all the times I laughed at tourists who couldn't pronounce "Demonbreun" street at home.  Boy, am I getting my payback.  Try saying Kalianaole and Halemaumau and Kuliouou Streets three times, really fast!

The kids are adjusting as well as could be expected.  Jack says that he likes it in Hawaii, even though he's not totally sold on school yet.  Liam has already made friends and is loving every day.  That's not too surprising because of all the kids, he's the least self-conscious, the least self-aware.  He's not really clued into the fact that he's "the new kid."  In Liam land, kids are kids, and that's really how it should be anyway.  Connor is probably suffering the most.  Not surprising... he's the least flexible of all our kids.  He doesn't really like school, but he's made three friends, nonetheless.

Amy is here with us, which has eased Mommy's transition considerably.  She is leaving on October 24, but we are begging and pleading her to come back.  I will be so lost without her.  Even though she only started babysitting for us in April, she's become a part of our family.  She's so amazing, she fits right in with our family, always has energy for the kiddos, can tutor them, nurture them, and talk them into behaving without them even knowing they are doing it.  She's a dream.  I was way more stressed about coming before I knew she would be with us, and every day I beg her not to leave.  She keeps saying some nonsense about people at home needing her or something, but I'm pretending she has no family and that she has nothing better to do than hang out here with us in paradise.  :)

Okay, a few more photos... our house and a few other fun things.

This is the kids at the top of Diamond Head

Me and Brian, as taken by Connor

We have gotten into the habit of swimming every night before bed.  

Back to Civilization....

Ahhhh, I feel like I have just gotten my life back... sad how dependent I am on the internet!  I kept telling my kids, "we can do that when they get our internet connected."

You don't care about that rambling.... I know, you just want photos!

Remember the Clampets?  Have you ever seen so much luggage?

The joys of underwater photography.... Jack has taken about 55 photos of himself with the camera under the water. 

The beach just down the street from our house...

The novelty of pool chores hasn't worn off yet, thus the smiling face. 

"From Here to Eternity" beach.  

We are pretending to be pet owners with the neighbors cat.  It's working out pretty well, all the fun, none of the responsibility!  This is Keisha.  I know my mom is loving this cat, she loves Persians.

The joys of GIANT snails.  That's an extra large egg next to the snail for some perspective.

Connor found a coconut on the beach.  We brought it home, cracked it open and ate it! :)  And then he made himself a China-man hat from the shell.... of course!

This is Hanauma Bay.  We had a 1/2 day at school yesterday so we took the kids snorkeling.  They all loved it.  Thanks for the recommendation, Alan Hall! 

I have a feeling this underwater camera thing is going to come in handy.

That's it for today.  I have tons to tell, but right now I have to get busy writing some more checks.... whew this place is E.X.P.EN.S.I.V.E.

Are my thoughts prisoners of Christ?

I read My Utmost for His Highest this morning.  I often start or end my day with this devotional.  And I had to sit with it for a while and ask myself some tough questions.  Paul said, according to the Moffatt translation of this verse, “. . . I take every project prisoner to make it obey Christ . . . .”  Hmmm, does that describe the way I have processed this move?  Does it actually describe the way I do ANYTHING?  I don't think so.  I am more blown about by my own human nature, often attributing my whims or instincts to Christ's leading.  In fact, that idea or urge may have been a seed or nudging from God, but that is where I start to move dreadfully off the path of bringing my projects prisoners to Christ and veer wildly onto the path of human nature.  The idea itself is not where God should be ending.  That's where MY obedience starts.  That's where Christ's discipline starts, right?  But wait, how do I do that?  This is my more typical response:  "Then compare this with what we do— we take “every thought” or project that comes to us by impulse and jump into action immediately, instead of imprisoning and disciplining ourselves to obey Christ."


So I guess what I really realized in reading through this today is that not only am I falling short of bringing my thoughts under control, like unruly children, they are strong willed and running amok.  But also, I don't even know how to begin to make those ideas fall into line with the heart of Christ.  Which begs the question, "Do I even understand the heart of Christ to start with?" And if the answer to that question is no, then it is my fervent prayer that God will take this time of isolation from my "busy" life and "full" and "fulfilled" life and beat the world out of it and show me His heart.  I want my life to be subject and given freely, less of me, more of Him.  I have been raised in the church, I know how to speak the speak and walk the walk, but I want my heart to feel the feel that Jesus feels when He looks upon the world.  


I read this paragraph several times today, letting it fully sink in and admit to myself and God that this, in fact, does very accurately describe my approach to life:  "Practical work for Christians is greatly overemphasized today, and the saints who are “bringing every thought [and project] into captivity” are criticized and told that they are not determined, and that they lack zeal for God or zeal for the souls of others. But true determination and zeal are found in obeying God, not in the inclination to serve Him that arises from our own undisciplined human nature. It is inconceivable, but true nevertheless, that saints are not “bringing every thought [and project] into captivity,” but are simply doing work for God that has been instigated by their own human nature, and has not been made spiritual through determined discipline."


Romans 12:2
^'2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.'

Need a laugh? 'Cause I sure do...

Okay, seriously, this may be one of the FUNNIEST things I have ever actually read. I hesitate to post this here because I am afraid that if you haven't visited in a while, you will miss my last post (from yesterday) which showcases the absolute beauty of my niece, Ensley. So if you didn't see the post yesterday, please do scroll down. But I couldn't keep this to myself.

I follow The Pioneer Woman, which is sometimes a real problem because there is SO much stuff on her blog that I love, I sometimes get stuck on the prairie and forget that I actually have a frontier of my own. But that's another story... those of you who are ADHD are with me here, I feel your support. Anyway, today, in an effort to be efficient in packing and planning for Hawaii, I went over to look at PW's facebook, rather than her blog, because I figured I had time for a blurb, right? Wrong! Of course, it just lead to an entire thread of posts that I followed straight to the funniest thing I've ever read... seriously I have tears! You can really skip all the mumbo jumbo about her phone phobia, it's irrelevant and I'm afraid you'll get discouraged before getting to the funny stuff. Just start reading after the photo of her daughter.... and be prepared to split your gut and slap your knee. Unless maybe I just have some sick sense of humor or you do, and you don't find it funny.

And in case you're too busy laughing to scroll down to my post from yesterday.... here's a reminder!

We break from this regularly schedule island adventure to introduce....

the most perfect child in the world!

This is my niece...

Her name is Ensley Kate

I totally stole the idea for this photo from "A Thorn Among Roses" (over in the sidebar)

She's gorgeous and perfect, in that new baby kind of way....

In that new baby that  belongs to me sort of way.... where no flaws exist....

Where you are absolutely sure beyond a doubt that an unkind word will never cross her lips and she will never do anything wrong!

She's perfect in that, "I can't stop staring at you" kind of way....

In the intoxicating way that babies (particularly babies to whom you have a very deep emotional connection) draw you in and force you to drink of their love elixir.  

And smart girl that she is, she's already looking around for her "Mo" when she can't see me.  She knows who has all the good duds! :)

I'd say her mama is pretty drunk on the Ensley wine too, wouldn't you?

And if you think this isn't one of the hardest parts of leaving next week, you're out of your mind!  

Every good and perfect gift is from above.... the Book of Samuel!

My first race ever....

I ran a 10k today.  I was SO excited that I even finished it.  My gun time was 102:47, that's just seconds over a 10 minute mile, but I was actually a tad faster because I was in the middle of the pack so I didn't start right at the gun.  It was such a neat experience.  I had no idea if I could even run 6.2 miles.  I had run 6 before, but never without walking at about the 4 mile mark.  I ran with my friend, Mary, and we just chatted and ran like it was any other day.  It was great.  And I didn't even have to walk at all.  I think one thing that helped was all the other runners around me, you sort of run on their momentum.  It was fun and I think I will do it again! I have to brag on Brian a little, he finished in under 50 minutes! :)  I'm so proud of him.  His goal was 56 minutes so he beat his goal.

I know that I have been silent since the whole house hunt thing, but I landed after the Wednesday red-eye and haven't stopped for a moment.  My mother-in-law was here and can I just say that she is a SLAVE DRIVER!!!  She definitely gets some work done.  She would not tolerate a break and even made me eat PB&J one day so that we didn't take too much time for lunch.  :)  She's my kind of gal.  We got almost everything packed, we got my closets and drawers cleaned out, clothes put away for the new tenant, boxes packed with toys and such, ready to ship.  We even have one box already addressed and ready to go.  My only oops is that I have misplaced my new house key and I'm HOPING it's not packed in one of those boxes that I am shipping.  Ha!  That would be so like me.

The house is great.  I love the house we will be in.  It was just the right one.  I think it was a God thing, it was the house we were meant to be in, for sure!  It's got a pool, a perfect amount of bedrooms, and enough space for us to take our sweet sitter, Amy, with us to be our nanny.  She is 23 and majoring in Elementary Ed, but she wasn't in school this semester so it's a win for her and us.  Oh, what's that, I forgot to mention the best part?  Amy is going with us!  I am beyond thrilled, let me tell you.  I was so stressed about how I was going to manage with no "back up plan" and now I have one.  I was worried about the kids not having a tutor in place and me not having any help if I got stuck somewhere in traffic, etc.  Not really being able to estimate how long things will take, it was worrying me that I would get to Target or something and not be able to get back in time, not knowing how long I would have.  I mean, don't get me wrong (I know I'm totally spoiled by the community of friends I have here) I could obviously plan my days where I did all the running around first thing in the morning until I learned it all. It's not that it can't be done.  I mean, people do this all the time without help, so please know that I realize I'm ridiculously spoiled by my lifestyle and I don't take it for granted.  But it does put my mind at ease to know that if I leave to take the boys to school and Meg's not awake, I won't have to get her out of bed and dress her, I'll just leave her there with Amy.  Anyway, I'm debating just deleting this whole part from the post so I don't appear to be a brat.  But at some point, you're going to be seeing alot of photos that include Amy so I'd have to explain at some time, right?

Anyway, we have ten more "sleeps" in our house before we head off on our island adventure.  I'm feeling so much better since we got all the stuff packed and we have a house and school, etc. It is way easier to leave, being able to picture that we are going to be okay with our living space, etc.  I know Brian is getting nervous about the work ahead of him.  I think it's going to be a hard project, which was one of the reasons I really wanted Amy with me, he tends to work long hours when he gets on these big stressful implementations, so this will be a nice safety net for my sanity.  I won't have my girlfriends, so I'll have another adult along to keep me company.  And we'll be living in a gorgeous house, very close to the beach.... yep, I'm ridiculously spoiled.

The Downside to Paradise

Well, it was bound to happen... I was cruising along with my checklist in hand, ticking off the places I needed to visit, opening checking accounts, exploring the island, enjoying the scenery and the nice breezes..... here we should cue the sound of screeching brakes and breaking glass..... I stepped onto the school grounds today to register my kids and had a total and complete breakdown... in the office.... in front of the whole office staff... they had to go get me tissues... I couldn't speak.... I just stood there like a blubbering idiot.  And then the school counselor asked me to step into her office (it was too late to preserve my dignity so I presume she was trying to shield the others from the awkwardness of my emotional outburst.)  Mama, don't get all worried now, you know I am more like Daddy and I cry at the drop of a hat... not everyone can be a stone wall like you!

Anyway, it was not all in vain. I think the counselor got my point that my kids are special, damnit, and they need some special treatment.  So we have already scheduled our first IEP meeting in Hawaii to discuss Liam's placement in classroom, etc.  Having a kid with FAS is not for the faint of heart... the stuff this kid goes through on a daily basis would make your toes curl and how he manages to do it without being a behavior problem is a mystery to me.  But sitting in an office trying to tell someone who doesn't already love and know my kids about all the special needs that Liam has, and trying to encapsulate it into a 20 minute meeting and impress the importance of his environment, well, it's just more than a mother's heart could bare.  So I cried.  Sue me!

In the end, I went with the really awesome house that opens on both sides and the gated courtyard.  There is very little yard, which could be a problem, but the house is great and the landlord seems to really care that things are in good working order, etc.  It will be a nice break for us to not have lawn maintenance to tend to, it will allow Brian more time to spend with us on the weekends.  And in the end, the owner of the home chose us out of the crowd because she said she felt a connection to me.  Maybe she read me like a book because you should know by now that she had me at "connection" and I just felt like God was giving me a little nudge of the arm... you know, like the old Southern men do when they are making a point or a joke.  Anyway... I feel so much better now that I have the home selected, etc.  The school is the scary part.  Not because it's a bad school... on the contrary, best I can tell, it's one of the best in Hawaii.  But because our school we attend now is SO amazing.  When I say amazing, I don't mean it in the sense that everyone else thinks their school is amazing.  I mean in the sense that as I was describing the services and modifications that Liam receives the counselor said, "Is this a private/specialized school?"  No, I replied.  Then she said, "It must be very small."  I said, "Well, we have 400 students in K-4.  I'm not sure if that is small or not."  And her reply was, "Oh, no, not small.  Wow!  I'd love to get more information from his current teachers and special area teachers."  Ahhhh.... that's me, smiling because what I have always known (that we have truly got the best school for my kids) is now being validated halfway around the globe.  The legend of our school will live on in the minds of the islanders and it will become the new gold standard in education.... oh, sorry.... I was off in my thoughts there for a second.  Anyway... the point is this, I just have to accept the fact that nothing is going to compare to my experience at MES.  We can't be there forever, eventually someone has to leave the school and have some other experience in pastures not sheltered from the world, so here we go.

On the other hand, I visited the church that is only a few blocks from our house, there is a pre-school associated with the church and they THINK they might have a spot for Meg!  That's God winking at me now... He had this all planned out, you see.  And I stopped in the church to say a prayer on my way out and thank God for His continued comfort and provision.  Can I just say that the church does not have walls.  It's got "slats" for lack of a better visual, so that the wind blows through then entire time. How cool is that?  I think I can get used to the climate, even if I can't get used to being away from my friends and family.

Finally, I will just say that I had dinner with my realtor last night.  He was super nice and bought my dinner, etc.  He was informative and taught me alot about the island and language in a two hour period.  However, I left there feeling like I might be the luckiest person in the world.  His family lives in TN and he has been in HI for 20 years.  I asked him how he could stand being so far from his family for so long and he said, "Well, you get used to it.  It's paradise here.  And I keep up with the homeruns and graduations via the power of internet and digital photos."  He said that at first, there were alot of trips back and forth, but that they became less and less frequent and everyone sort of went on with their lives.    And I realized how lucky and blessed we are that we come from a family where that just wouldn't be enough for any of us.  Internet is great and home is where my kids and Brian are, true, but I have a deeper connection than what electronics can convey.  I think my friends who live far from their families could attest to this.  I know Lindsay and Barb, for example, make a priority of seeing family. And I know they have been doing so for years.  So I guess what I am saying is that I would forego vacations and other trips to be sure that family was part of our kids lives, and it's just a reminder to me that I am blessed to feel that way about the ones I love.  I will miss living around the corner from my niece (Brian's sister and her family) and seeing my niece (my brother's daughter) grow in her first year of life.  I probably haven't even mentioned that my brother and his wife had their first baby last week.  I'm going to miss "doing life" with my sista, Sonja.  I'll miss Friday night Mexican with Mary and Leenda.  I'll miss Gwen's craziness and Kendra's extraordinary way of making time for her friends.  I will miss seeing Marianne and our group with Amie, but I will probably talk to Marianne all the time because, let's face it, I'll still need counseling in paradise! :)  I'll miss Niki and Shawn and foster-dogs.  I'll miss crisp fall weather and football season (even though I hate football.)   I will embrace this experience and try to milk every morsel of growth for myself and my kids from the time we have here.  I refuse to focus on how much we are missing and instead, embrace the things that will make this experience invaluable and educating.  However, I know when it's time to go home, I won't look back.  I'll happily get on that plane and return to my beloved friends and family and love the memories we made all the more because I can share them with people who truly love me!

Zephaniah 3:17
"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing."

Decisions, Decisions....

I am not good at making decisions.  Did I mention this before?

Anyway, here are the photos, I will let them speak for themselves. I feel like I'm on an episode of house hunters.... "Will she pick the fabulous hillside home with the view, but that is unfurnished.  Or will she pick the open breezy home that is out of her price range?"  :)

This is a view of the pool lounge area in the pricey house. 

One of the bedrooms

My favorite part of this house.  I don't know if you can see in the photo how both sides of the home are completely open. In this photo, I am standing by the pool looking through the house to the front courtyard.  Notice the exposed beam ceiling... ahhh!

Check out this view from the hillside house I looked at.

This is the living area... maybe a little fancy schmancy for a country girl, huh?  I doubt anyone in my bloodline ever lived on marble floors! :)

But doing dishes would certainly be alot more fun if you could look at this while doing it.  This is the kitchen counter view.

On my drive around to different houses yesterday, I passed several spots like this.  Wow!  I doubt I would ever get tired of seeing this on my daily route.

Or this either.... this was a small beach that was protected from the wind and crashing waves by the high rocks all around.  Don't know if you can tell how far down the beach descends, but look how tiny the people were.  

I have a light day today.  Only two houses to see and then, I think it's decision making time.  I have one to see in the morning, but that one is not furnished and I don't know if it will be in my price range once I get the furniture contract, so it looks like today is the day.  It's early yet! 

A quick request, if you wouldn't mind just saying a quick prayer for me, I feel alot of pressure about making the right decision here and I feel guilty about the prices too.  We could never afford these homes on our own and I just want to get something good for my kids but not gouge the company either. 

Aloha

I am sitting in Hawaii right now.  I can't tell you how far I feel from my family.  As I was on the flight and it felt like it was taking FOREVER to get here (six hour flight from Salt Lake City, which was a three hour flight from home.)  It's just difficult knowing that I am so far from everyone I love.

HOWEVER... having said that, Hawaii is GORGEOUS!!!  I'm trying to figure out the island and it's more confusing driving in a strange city when you don't have a navigator.  I'm starting to think I should not have declined the insurance on the car.  Luckily, I have finally gotten my navigation running.

I looked at a house yesterday that was totally amazing!  My husband said he thinks I will "know" it when I see it and this one was totally a house I could see us living in.  I have some photos, but you really can't get a feel for the house from the pictures.  This house had two walls, opposite one another, that completely open to the outside.  A breeze was blowing through the house and I just can't explain the feeling I had when I was in there.  I could literally see my boys running in and out of that courtyard.  I could picture Liam and Connor playing lego on the lanai (which, best I could tell is a fancy word for porch.)  :)

It's very fun seeing the difference in homes and the different type of culture that is here.  This particular house was more than just the house, the community seems really neat.  There were tons of people out walking.  I saw one little girl and her dad walking home from school.  The Y was just around the corner.  There were two parks nearby and it is only 1.5 blocks from the beach.    Wow, it feels alot like Provision to me.  The only down side is that it is the absolute MAXIMUM rent amount that I am allowed to spend.  Brian was really hoping to get something that was not at the top of the rental amount, but we'll just have to see what else I find today that can compare to this one.

Deep breaths in... and out...

and then click your heels together and you'll be in Kansas... oh wait, sorry, wrong destination.

Is it a bad sign that I haven't started packing yet for my trip on Friday?  I mean, I'm going to paradise to pick out a HOUSE and a SCHOOL where my family will call home for the next foreseeable future.  We have no plans beyond Hawaii, so that counts as "foreseeable" future, doesn't it?  Why does my house look like my mom's laundry room the day I arrived home from college for the summer?  Does anyone else have the problem that when there is too much to do, they just do NOTHING?  No, it's only me?  Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Have you seen the trailer for that movie, "The Crazies"?  I haven't seen the movie, but I'm wondering if it might be about my life.  Pretty frequently throughout the day my daughter (3, remember!) holds my phone up and says, "Smile, Mom!"  I think I have at least 57 photos of myself on my phone, doing all sorts of things, none of which are flattering or worth posting to facebook.

And I am spending an inordinate and inappropriate amount of time worrying about how much I am going to miss my dog.  It's simply not natural how much I am thinking about the fact that he will have to sleep outside.  "Outside" is not exactly accurate, he'll be in the "shop" with my dad's dog, Big Al.  The shop is heated in the winter and he will have a bed out there and plenty of food and water and all sorts of fun playing fetch and swimming in the pond and chasing the farm animals around, but still, I have this idea that he's going to be missing his warm cozy spot next to my bed, where he has slept every night for the past four years.  :(

And my family.... and my friends... and my school... and my neighbors... and my bus-stop... and the TEACHERS!!!  Oh the amazing teachers we are leaving behind.  Okay, now I am being downright rude to God because He certainly knows that He's got all this worked out for me already.  And the sweet friend who is moving into my house had a very sweet visual for me about imagining exactly how I would want things to be and then just asking God for it.  So that's what I've been trying to do, dream big, not limit God from lavishing me with all the provision at His disposal.  Surely He has already relieved so many questions for me and I KNOW that He is in this... I KNOW that this was His will for us.  So letting go and trusting... that's the thing.  I'll let you know how I come out with it.  Does anyone else ever feel like they keep being taught the same lesson over and over again?  Am I the only one who doesn't seem to learn and has to keep repeating Faith 101?

Love y'all.... thanks for listening.

You're still out there! :)

Is it ridiculous how in love with all my blog friends I am?  I think it might make me a bit pathetic how excited I was to see that some folks are actually still taking time to stop in, even though I've terribly neglected you all summer.  Now you know why... I've been on this roller coaster ride and it's just consumed my thoughts but I couldn't say anything.

Anyway, here are the details....

I leave on Friday to find a school and house for us.  I'll come home and then the whole family will embark on this adventure (picture the Clampets on a plane) sometime around the week of September 15.  I'm excited and nervous, all at the same time.

We will be living on Oahu.  Brian will work in Honolulu.  The initial contract is signed through January 30, but we may be extended, may not.  I really feel that the Lord has given this to me in bite sized pieces.  I can get my head around five months in paradise.  And once we are there and settled, if it extends to the end of next year, I can deal with that then.

I have really seen God all over this.  We love love love our home and our community, but a new location is something we have talked about many times.  Just never really wanted to CHOOSE to leave this little bubble that we live in.  This is the perfect solution for us because we can go, have this experience, know it's temporary, and still come home again.

As if God just couldn't lavish us enough, He has provided for our home and our kitty in our absence too.   My dear friend's mom is going to stay here and take care of the yard, take care of the cat (who we love despite ourselves) and take care of my friend while we are gone.  (My friend lives across the street, so this feels like God was really caring for her while He was caring for us.)  I have just seen God in every little detail of this, which is how I know it's right.  The only thing I can hardly stand to think about is that my dog, Vince, will not get to go with us.  Hawaii has a quarantine of 120 days to bring a pet on the island, so we would not take him with us.  I love this dog!  He has become so calm and sweet (after three years of puppy-hood) and he is starting to gray around the eyes already.  I know he will change alot while we are gone.  My dad has offered to let him stay on the farm, which is great in alot of respects.  However, my dad does not allow the dogs into the house, EVER.  He will live in my dad's shop with his other dog, Big Al (a black lab/duck retrieving wonder-dog.)  The shop is heated in the winter, there are beds in there for the dogs, and my dad has a pond in the horse pasture that Vince swims in every day when he stays there.  I know, it sounds like Retriever Disney, but for me, thinking of him outside all the time, not curled up to my bed every night, is very sad.

Leaving to search for a house by myself is totally outside my comfort zone.  But Brian and I felt it was important for one of us to be with the kids.  They are handling it pretty well, but Jack has mixed emotions (understandably, he's the one in middle school) so we just didn't want to leave them.  Since I am the one who attends all the IEP meetings, understands the school needs the most, etc., it was more logical for me to go.  This is such a stretch for me.  I will overthink the whole thing, I will waffle, and in the end, I will doubt myself because that's how I make decisions.  And every time there is any issue with our location or the school, I will blame myself for the choice I made.  So even this little step feels like a real gift from God because it's such a stretch for me.  I am going to be pruned and groomed in new ways that I know are needed to deliver me to where I need to be.

I really can't wait to experience a new culture and a new place.  It's initially such a short time that it just feels more like an adventure than a move.  But I will deeply miss my friends.  I know I will depend on this community (bloggers) more than ever because I am such a social person that I don't know that I can live without my gal-pals.  We will be five hours behind TN so even phone conversations might be a challenge.  (I'll have to figure out what time is too late to call anyone and get up extra early to chat with my friends on their special days.)  I think one of the things I am most excited about is that this may be the only time in our lives and the lives of our children when they will be a racial minority.  Where on Earth would God likely call our family that this would happen (believe me, I know that alot of you are thinking Africa, but if God gets my husband to Africa, then you should all know that the end times are upon us.... or I have divorced and married a different man. :)  ha!)  Likewise, it may be the only time in her life when Meg appears to be in the majority! :)  God's sense of humor is pretty funny, huh?

Okay, I think that's all the details I can think of for now.  I am sure there will be 1000 questions I have for those of you who have done this type of thing before and I've already taken advice from Barb (anyone need a good used Sequoia?)  But for now this is where we are.  Whew!

If you're here, you already know there's big news!

I guess you noticed that the header has changed.  And the title to the blog... I know, I know, how many times can someone change the title of a blog?  Work with me here, I'm a little indecisive.

But we are not undecided about what's going on in the next few weeks... buckle your seat belts and start your engines.  We're moving to Hawaii!  :)