The truth as I know it:

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands. ~~~ Kristi Larson

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Deep breaths in... and out...

and then click your heels together and you'll be in Kansas... oh wait, sorry, wrong destination.

Is it a bad sign that I haven't started packing yet for my trip on Friday?  I mean, I'm going to paradise to pick out a HOUSE and a SCHOOL where my family will call home for the next foreseeable future.  We have no plans beyond Hawaii, so that counts as "foreseeable" future, doesn't it?  Why does my house look like my mom's laundry room the day I arrived home from college for the summer?  Does anyone else have the problem that when there is too much to do, they just do NOTHING?  No, it's only me?  Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Have you seen the trailer for that movie, "The Crazies"?  I haven't seen the movie, but I'm wondering if it might be about my life.  Pretty frequently throughout the day my daughter (3, remember!) holds my phone up and says, "Smile, Mom!"  I think I have at least 57 photos of myself on my phone, doing all sorts of things, none of which are flattering or worth posting to facebook.

And I am spending an inordinate and inappropriate amount of time worrying about how much I am going to miss my dog.  It's simply not natural how much I am thinking about the fact that he will have to sleep outside.  "Outside" is not exactly accurate, he'll be in the "shop" with my dad's dog, Big Al.  The shop is heated in the winter and he will have a bed out there and plenty of food and water and all sorts of fun playing fetch and swimming in the pond and chasing the farm animals around, but still, I have this idea that he's going to be missing his warm cozy spot next to my bed, where he has slept every night for the past four years.  :(

And my family.... and my friends... and my school... and my neighbors... and my bus-stop... and the TEACHERS!!!  Oh the amazing teachers we are leaving behind.  Okay, now I am being downright rude to God because He certainly knows that He's got all this worked out for me already.  And the sweet friend who is moving into my house had a very sweet visual for me about imagining exactly how I would want things to be and then just asking God for it.  So that's what I've been trying to do, dream big, not limit God from lavishing me with all the provision at His disposal.  Surely He has already relieved so many questions for me and I KNOW that He is in this... I KNOW that this was His will for us.  So letting go and trusting... that's the thing.  I'll let you know how I come out with it.  Does anyone else ever feel like they keep being taught the same lesson over and over again?  Am I the only one who doesn't seem to learn and has to keep repeating Faith 101?

Love y'all.... thanks for listening.


Nicole said...

I have been thinking about you a lot. I know all of this change is hard but he has got an extra special plan for you and your family. Leaving everything and everyone you know is so hard but trust in his plan.This is going to be an adventure of a lifetime!!!!
Now I totally wanted to cry about your dog but he sounds like he will have an adventure on the farm!
I am praying you all the way to paradise girl!!!!

Kristine said...

Maybe you should make a trip to Kansas to drop off your dog...who could sleep by my bed until you get back home! I think that sounds like a great idea! REALLY!!! Maybe I could meet you part way. Does he get along with other dogs? I really would do that for you! Oh and we have AC. Tell him.

Kristine said...

AND I could take pictures of him and have him blog to you and your family while you are there! It sounds like a great idea!!! Memphis is only an 8 or 9 hour drive so if we were to meet half way...we could work this out!

Amy...who wanted 4. said...

Are you the only one??? I could have written this post myself. I get paralyzed when their is too much to do. I also would die if my dog could not move with me. Every night before bed I think I did not use my opportunities to learn lessons. Sigh.
However, you ARE going to Hawaii!!!!! What a fun opportunity! We lived in Germany for 3 years and LOVED it. It was such a great experience...

Barb said...

Vince will be fine, I'm sure . . . I think you're right - staying at your Dad's sounds like Disney for dogs:-)Or let him go to Kristine's!

You are going to have a blast! How long are you going to be on the scouting trip?

btw . . . I looked into airfare, and I don't think I'll be visiting you there. The shortest travel time was 24 hours (and that was from Helsinki - a 6 hour drive from my house!) I'll have to wait till you're back stateside!