I don't know why I always have the hardest time breathing in the morning. I am pretty good at night. Some people have told me that night is the hardest time for them, but not me. For some reason, things always look better in the night. Mornings, I have a hard time catching my breath. Mornings just seem overwhelming. I'm not really sure why. It's not like there are things going on here that I haven't been doing for 11 years already. It's not like my mornings are hard. They aren't. We have a really good routine. We run pretty well most mornings. It's not without it's chaos, but it's not too bad. I can logically ask myself why I'm fearful in the mornings, but I don't have any answers.
There are SO many things in your life that become entangled when you are with someone for 17 years. Not only stuff, but everything has to change. Computer passwords, addresses, traditions, routines, everything that you have just sort of taken for granted for a very long time, now require some thought and strategy to get through them. It's difficult to go through this sort of thing without stepping on some toes, but I am really trying to be as dignified and compassionate as possible. That's probably alot of my problem, I just feel TOO much, I worry too much about everyone else's feelings.
I can't believe how many people I know who are going through this right now. It seems like it's happening in a giant wave. I guess there are people suffering and hurting all the time but when you are in the midst of it, you seek others out in your same boat. That's what I did during the adoption process. Now I'm proving the old saying, "Misery loves company." :)