Saturday, September 27, 2008
I took this photo tonight as my little angel was sleeping. Poor girl, she fell asleep in the car today on the way home from Jack's game, which gave her a 15 minute power nap and there was no turning back. You know how it is, if they fall asleep in the car, you either have to commit to a 2 hour drive or suffer the loss of the nap for the day. At $4/gallon, I decided to suffer the consequences. Anyway, that's not what this post is actually about. Later on today, my friend Sonja and I took our boys to the skate park and then out to dinner and all this resulted in Meg being out 1) past her bedtime without a nap and 2) eating dinner about an hour after she is normally in bed (all without a nap.) She was a total trooper through the whole thing. She really never fussed or cried, she just went with the flow. Have I mentioned how blessed we are that God chose this specific little angel for our family? Anyway, that is also not what this post is about. What this post is about is that for the first time since Meg joined our family, she fell asleep in my arms as I was rocking her. It was SO precious. You have to know as a Mommy I just eat that up. I have always loved to rock a sleeping baby and it was cause for celebration the first time each of them slept while I held them. Tonight, I was just trying to drink in every second of the precious moment I was having with my daughter, knowing that at 2 they are few and far between and knowing that with her being my last baby, these moments are truly precious and not to be taken for granted.
It was a perfect storm, of sorts, that likely won't happen again for a very long time. Many forces combined to permit this special moment. I already told you about the nap. And then also, Connor was out tonight with Brian so I didn't have him wanting my attention or coming into the room every three seconds to ask me a question.
But, THIS is what this post is about.... While I was drinking in the bliss of the moment, a very sad wave washed over me. I realized that this was probably the first time in her little life that she had ever been held and rocked to sleep. And the first time that anyone had ever held her WHILE she was sleeping just to revel in the perfection of her being. I realized (I, of course, have known this on a cerebral level) that no one has probably taken the time to just marvel at her. No one has ever enjoyed holding her just a little longer. No one has ever been totally overwhelmed at the love they felt for her and how amazing and perfect and meant to be she really is. No one, until now! Most likely, her birth mother had these feelings when she was born. I am sure she looked at this perfect child she had brought into the world and wished with all her heart she could hold her tenderly for the rest of her life. But that was not to be. My dear, sweet daughter, I can't give you back all those nights you were left to put yourself to sleep, but I can make up for lost time by being absolutely over the moon in love with you. I can breathe in your smell and stare at your angelic face and thank God every day for the rest of your life that He gave you to me.
Meg, tonight when you were asleep in my arms, Jack came in and looked at you and said, "I think she is the prettiest girl in the world. Every boy is going to want to be her boyfriend." My darling daughter, that's about as close to gushing as you'll ever get from a third grade boy. You are adored, you are cherished, you are loved! And you are ours! Sweet dreams, little angel!
Before I go, I just have to show you the photos from today. This is part of the reason Meg fell asleep in the car, because I am so in love with my town (Franklin, TN) and the sky was so blue and gorgeous (doesn't it look fake?), I just had to stop and take some photos of our small downtown.
I loved the contrast of the red shop front against the blue sky with the green trees.... makes me want to get my muffler fixed!:)
"When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet."