On my way into Good Will today to purchase my second sewing machine in as many weeks, I was stopped by a very
young, enthusiastic,
naive, well-meaning, unaware-of-what-he-was-getting-into gentleman. He was with Green Peace. I know because that's what his shirt said. And he told me. And also he had a little piece of paper that he wanted me to sign saying I would give money to them every month.
Now first of all, before you start laughing at the sheer absurdity that a Southern girl, raised on a working rodeo-stock farm would ever join an organization like Green Peace, you must, in honor of Paul Harvey, hear the "rest of the story."
Green Peace Guy (a.k.a. GPG) - Do you care about our oceans and over-fishing by commercial fishermen?
Me: Um, yesssss?
GPG: Do you know that sometimes when commercial fishermen catch more than they need, they will throw "extras" like pregnant dolphins back into the water?
Me: (thinking to myself, "I didn't realize that when you were doing something for money you would ever say, "ooops, I've caught too much, better not bring home a check that big, the kids might start asking for more stuff... let's unload some of this
cash fish before we hit the docks." I know this to be a fact because I've never seen the guys on Deadliest Catch throw anything back.... I'm an expert on these things, I watch Discovery Channel ALL the time!) What I really said was, "No, I didn't realize that."
GPG: Well, did you know that our waters are being fished for whales against international law and Green Peace has managed to obtain protection of 6% of the oceans?
Me: Since you brought up the whales, you know I was just thinking about that show Whale Wars. You know, I think it's a Green Peace guy that started that organization.
GPG: Yes, so you're familiar with what we're trying to do in the oceans then?
Me: You know the thing that always cracks me up about that show? Those guys are so passionate about those whales that they are willing to go to jail or even die to protect even one whale from dying, but you know what, I bet every single person on that boat is pro-choice, don't you? I mean, I bet none of them mind when a human baby gets killed? Don't you guess?
GPG: (Now starting to clearly wish he had found someone else to approach) Well, I never really thought about it. I try not to get into politics too much. I'm just advocating that we demand that Congress clean up our oceans. (now switching his approach.) Did you know that some of the trash from the Great Pacific Waste Dump is starting to wash up on the North Shore, right here in Oahu. Surely that is something you care about. And if you will just fill out this pledge form and make a monthly commitment, we can go to Congress and tell them "You will do what we say and we say you WILL trawl that 10 story deep trash pit in the Pacific." Surely that's something you could support.
Me: You know, I also support that cosmetic products not be tested needlessly on animals. PETA is also against animal testing. But I am not a member of PETA because although we agree on that one subject, there are about 10,000 other subjects we disagree on. So I tell you what, if you'll give me a business card, I'll go home and look you up on-line. If the values of Green Peace and the values of Sasha Harrison line up, I'll fill in the pledge information and gladly make a contribution.
GPG: Have fun sewing! (I'm not making that up, that's exactly how he gave me the brush off!)
First of all, if he had only known I was from the South, he probably wouldn't have bothered. Second, if he HAD bothered
or been a gentleman in any way, he would have offered to carry my circa 1963 Singer to the car for me because it was CLEARLY heavy (evidenced by the fact that I switched arms twice and finally gave up and set it down.) Girls from the South are suckers for guys that do stuff like that just to be nice. And third, a 23 year old liberal should never try to out-sell a 40 year old mama who knows about the orphan crisis. Just sayin', I have things in perspective here! :)
In other news, our bunny has disappeared and it appears the Harrisons are not meant to be pet owners here in HI.
Also, Amy is leaving on Saturday and I'm so distraught I would have decked the GPG if I had thought of it sooner, it would have made me feel alot better to get that angst of her leaving out on someone.
In other Clampet-esk news, we came home from the mall tonight and the door from the garage to the kitchen was open. Amy wigged out and thought she saw someone in the kitchen so long story shortened, we call the police (Brian wasn't home yet) and within about 5 minutes, there are no less than 6 cop cars in front of our house, one guy on the corner watching the perimeter, two guys on the front lawn and a man and woman officer going into the house. The man had a RIFLE (not the kind my Daddy uses to hunt deer, but a HUGE black assault rifle) drawn and cocked.
Then I realized it was live filming for Hawaii-Five-O. Turns out there was no one in the house, but I did get a big fat lecture about leaving my windows open when I'm not home. They said I was just inviting a burglar. So, we're all locked up and sweating tonight! :) If only I had an attack dog, I could be safe AND cool all at the same time. I say that because there are signs all around at the really nice houses near me that say "Guard Dog on Duty." It makes me laugh, like maybe the dog doesn't live there, but actually just comes in shifts like that cartoon dog that used to punch the clock. I think his name was Sam. Anyway, I never really notice dogs at those houses, just the signs, so maybe they don't have dogs at all. But I think if I were a thief, I'd choose another house anyway. :)
Oh, and by the way, our word of the day today was Sabotacion. (As in, we were sabotaged.) :)
And we went to the Lego store tonight. There was a mini-figure building contest and Liam won. :)
