The truth as I know it:

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands. ~~~ Kristi Larson

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Blubbering all day long....

Okay, warning, here comes another post about orphans... (Not the movie, the real orphans, you know, the ones out there without any mommy to tuck them in tonight.)

For some reason, God saw fit to flood my life with visions and images of Ethiopian orphans all day today.  First, I went over to Kristi's house today.  She just returned from Ethiopia with her PRECIOUS (too gorgeous for words) daughter from Ethiopia.  And as if that wasn't enough to send a girl over the edge of jealousy ( I mean, truly, this is a yummy little baby! ) her sister Kelly, showed up with her son, Nathan.  And then comes Tracy and her son.  Angie and her little girl, Macy. And Katie was there (not from Ethiopia, but still the mother of 13 gorgeous little Africans) which, say no more.  But the real kicker was that Tracy's daughter, Elle, just returned from a seven week trip to Africa (where she actually got to spend some time with Gwen's son, Joseph, and shared some photos of that sweet time!) and she was generous enough to show us (all us adoptive mamas) all the photos she took in the various orphanages she served during her time and was even more kind to point out all the beautiful children who are still without families.  Well, you know where this is going! 

I blubbered all the way through it.  I cried for these children who are not likely to find families.  The odds are totally against them that they will ever know the love of a parent.  The odds are not good that they will have any opportunity at what we know as family.  The odds are about 147,000,000 to one, in fact.  So, how can I say to Brian, just this morning, that I know I am done having kiddos because I am getting rid of all my baby stuff at the fall consignment sales and not one bit sad about it.  And in the same day, see children without mothers and WEEP for them, knowing that I can't parent them and they likely don't have alot of hope of finding any parent in life.  I come home and Kristine has posted a link on her blog to a family who is in Ethiopia right now adopting a sibling group of three.  Wow!  And Tracy and her family are in the process of adopting four children from Ethiopia to add to their already full home.  And again, I'm driven to that place in my heart where I ask God why He shows me all this if He doesn't intend to use me to "fix" it somehow.  And at the same time, I know that "fixing" it, doesn't necessarily mean bringing another child into my home.  It means something bigger.  There's nothing bigger for ONE CHILD than joining a family.  And someone (maybe you!) are a child's only chance at a family.  But I can't adopt 147,000,000, so no matter how many times I decide to add a child to my home, somewhere it has to end and there will still be beautiful children out there without mamas.  I'll still be running across stories and photos all the times of others who need a Mommy.  It's just the life I live, I am "in that circle" where everyone I know is in the throes of this life we call 'orphan awareness.'  So, as much as EVERY part of me wants to grab up every child in every one of Elle's photos and be "the one" for "that one", I also know that at some point, I have to figure out how to be bigger than myself... how to be bigger than bringing one child into this one home.  And I know that God already knows the answer to that.  

Will you please pray with me that He will reveal to me what He wants me to do with all this? What will bring Him glory in my sorrow for these children?  What is His big idea in how we can all work together to solve this crisis.  It is a crisis.  We CAN all work together.  If we all do something, we'll be one body and the body will be complete.  What's my part?  What's yours?

8 comments:

Kristine said...

I was just talking about all of this this morning on a walk with a friend..how do you know when to stop? It is a difficult and very personal question...

God has a plan for you...He wouldn't have planted this seed in your heart for no reason.

Praying God will give you some answers.

lori said...

Ondrea, even Jesus didn't heal everybody. And, I'm sure he wept for all those that he couldn't save; just as you are. I know it's not exactly comforting to know that you have these feelings for all these kids and unsure what God wants you to do, but he will reveal it. And, maybe he just wants you to speak out for the orphans-you blog touches so many people. Maybe he wants you to create a piece of jewelry and donate to the orphanages. Who knows, but God does and we have to rely on that. I love ya, sister!

lori

Tracy said...

I'm thinking you're on your way to Africa! God will not waste one second of the compassionate heart He's given you! So wonderful to spend time with you and your beautiful children yesterday! His best is yet to come!

Settle Family said...

I have been giving this alot of thought myself. We are about to begin our own small fundraisrs to offset the cost of our next adoption. But what if we all pulled our talents (whatever they may be!) and begun one child at a time. Raising money for each of these children for grants toward there adoptions. Adoption is so exspensive and the money is quite a challenge for so many people who would love to be parents to some of these precious kiddos.Let me know what you think!

Settle Family said...

I have been on your book shelf shoping for Nick's summer book. I am torn between Silent Tears and The Lost Girls of China.He reads ,writes a report and gets a cool pair of tennis shoes of his choice and gains a little perspective ! Any other suggestions?

Eight Isn't Enough said...

You have just said what I have been feeling for months. I could not have said it better. I wish I had the answer..but I know God does, even though in my heart I desperately want to adopt more children, but there just isn't the finances for it...and that part bugs me because I feel God has placed this love for the orhans and adoption so deeply in my heart but the finances don't come along side...how do I possibly make it work???? I have no idea.

Thank you so much for sharing this post...I will be praying for you. Please pray for me as well.

Lindsay said...

I so understand your feelings on this - it is so, so hard to know that you can't bring them all home. Hope you are able to find your path in this, and the answers you seek.

Angela Knight said...

It's so sweet to see how God can soften a heart for others. You are right - God has birthed this feeling in you to use the gifts you have. Keep your eyes and ears open. I heard a quote once that said, "Sometimes we're waiting for a voice when He's already spoken a verse." So, with that in mind, we can never seek God's Word enough! And, when we do, it will never return void.