The truth as I know it:

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands. ~~~ Kristi Larson

Monday, November 03, 2008

The Butternut Squash Debacle

If I had video of tonight's dinner, the story would be more believable, and even more hilarious. For some reason, I got all house-wifey today and spent the day cooking and cleaning. Moment of silence here people, this deserves some recognition in and of itself.

Okay, so, in my attempt to be all things to all people, I actually thought ahead and purchased a butternut squash in preparation for this craving of a recipe from Giada of the Food Network. I peeled and boiled the darn thing last night and put it in the fridge for the finishing process today. (This may sound like normal preparation to you, but to me, it's next to the second coming of Christ because I don't think think about what's for dinner until 3:30 PM, much less prepare an ingredient the night before. We may be very near to the end of time!) So, in between putting a coat of stain and a coat a poly on my kitchen floor, I made a homemade cream sauce, boiled authentic lasagna noodles, and pureed butternut squash for said lasagna. Did I mention that there were THREE children involved in this process (Jack was home "sick" from school, and of course, Meg and Connor are always under foot.)

So, for the debacle part. I was so excited about the lasagna. I could taste it all day. I had made it one time before and remembered it being a savory treat that was only suited for a really special occasion (last time I made it to contribute to Thanksgiving feast.) Did I mention that it had honest-to-god lasagna noodles, not the no boil kind either! Anyway, as I was serving it, I knew from the look of it that it's culinary perfection would not be readily apparent to my children. So I did what any good mother would do... I bribed them with chocolate if they took two bites! :) First bites went well all around. There were a few disgusted critics after that first bite, but I was not deterred. I insisted there would be a second bite or no candy. Meanwhile, Meg and I are chowing down on our lasagna and loving it. She is obviously far more cultured culinarily than my boys! So, the second bite went like this.... Liam takes three or four more bites and says, "Um, not bad!" That's not the response Giada gets, but it's better than I had originally anticipated.Jack puts bite 2 in his mouth and GAGS! Yes, that's right... GAGS! Seriously, I thought the boy was going to throw up at the table. This is a response that was held solely for Brussels sprouts in my childhood, so I am more than offended that my famed lasagna brings on the gag reflex of a green vegetable. Okay, but I'm still hitting 50/50 at this point. Last up, Connor. I actually have to feed it to him because he couldn't convince his hand to put the disgusting gruel voluntarily into his mouth. Ensued crying (hysterical tears spilling down the cheeks crying.) Now I'm sure Giada never had this from her guests! Brian, who has tried to act like an adult up to this point, caves, admits he hated it too and lets them all have candy. I guess he can forget ever bribing them to eat the next thing on their plates. I gave most of it to the dog, who, by the way, LOVED it! :) Oh well, that just means I have enough for breakfast, lunch and dinner for me and Meg tomorrow.

Thank goodness my husband has a funny sense of humor. He actually had us all laughing our way through the fiasco and even I found it hard to be offended. I know this was not a resounding endorsement, but on behalf of Giada and myself, let me just say that the recipe really is delicious and if you are into harvest veggies, I highly recommend it! :)

Bon apetit! Or as the Russians say, "Fa-coos-na" (delicious) (which, as luck would have it is very close to the Russian word for "Funky", which is fa-nooch-ka! :) It's all in how you look at it, I suppose!


Sonja Lowell said...

Great story-telling once again... you've got the gift, girl! But you left out the other sweet part of the story so I'm going to have to brag on you to your blogging friends that you made extra and fed my family for dinner tonight too! YUMM-O, you saved me!

Carolynn and Steve said...

I can't help but laugh along with you--I have been there so many times myself! I made one dish from the Food network once and a friend of my husband's spit it out and said, "I think this is rotten!" It wasn't, but it was not exactly a stellar moment in my dining room :-) Thank you so much for sharing! It does sound really good, too!

Kim Abraham said...


I thought about your story last night and had another good laugh. We had a similar experience play out here. I broke out the wok and cooked up a delicious chicken stir fry that was a new recipe for me. I fared a little better than you in that two of my kids would actually eat it. One loved it, the other only tolerated it.

My 6 year old tore into it at first but then he hated it so bad that he not only spit it out, he had to go wash his tongue! A few minutes later he was microwaving a bowl of chicken noodle soup. My 4 year old had to hold his nose to get it down. Martin didn't like it either. At least Preston and I enjoyed the left overs for lunch today!

I agree you have a gift for story telling!