That's where I have God. Seriously, when I think about how I think of God compared to what He is seriously capable of, the size box I have Him in must be TOTALLY cramped for him. Proof? Well, it's all around me. How did I come to this conclusion? I am reading In A Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. A. W. Tozer says, "...the most portentous fact about any man is not what he at a given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be like...." For me, that concept is pretty limited. Why? Because it all comes down to ME. I think God needs me to "feel" a certain way, be a certain way, have a certain thing, not have other things, etc. etc. for Him to fulfill His mission, His plans, for my life, for the world. See how limited and egotistical that is? Yes, God did set it up to use humans to fulfill His goals for humanity. He did place us here as His hands and feet. He is "needing" us to go out and complete the good works He has set aside for us, but it's not ABOUT us at all. And yet it is. It's set up that way so that we would be drawn into relationship with Him, right? Our dreams for our self, our yearnings, our longings, and all that striving is our spirit within us reaching for Him. It's beyond my comprehension, how it can be both. Batterson says, "Maybe it's time to stop creating God in your image and let Him create you in His." Whoa! That sounds about right, though, I have created a God that is wishy washy, indecisive, does not attend to detail, and is forgetful because that's who I am, I've made God in MY image. How many things that people spout off to you as "truths" or "of God" are really Scriptures that have been molded to their small understanding of what God is?
When I read things that remind me of how big God is and how small I am, what a speck of dust I am in the grand scheme of things, it always makes my "problems" seem so laughable. Of course, nothing in my life is difficult for God, nothing is beyond his ability. I tend to want to think that I need to be praying for bigger things, not bringing my small cares to the throne because others' needs are so much more "worthy" of His infinite power than mine. But then Batterson reminds us of the story in 2 Kings chapter 6. In this story, a worker loses an ax head in the Jordan river (an IRON ax head... hello, that's heavy!) and Elisha prays that the ax head will float and it does. Wait a minute... I've definitely read that story before and never thought about it in this light. God actually CARED that this guy had lost an ax head that he borrowed from a friend. So, my problems, though "small" and "easy" for God to solve, are also things He cares about. He is SO big and SO everything and SO perfect that He does have power over every single dominion and problem on earth, but He also cares about the little daily things that trouble me (and you!) enough to want to ease some of that for us. He wants us to "rest" in Him, and many times that rest comes from just knowing that you have a Father who does care about even the smallest things in your life. Jesus used his FIRST miracle to turn water into wine (and as a Catholic, I can TOTALLY appreciate why that was important... hahaha) He obviously cared that the folks at the party were having a good time, He cared that the bride and groom not be embarrassed by their lack of resources or planning. And it was important enough to the Gospel writers to impress upon us that God does care about these little things in our lives as much as He cares about us. Seriously, would it really have effected eternity if the party-goers had gone home a day early? No! But God doesn't miss an opportunity to lavish us with His love and this was a great way to record it for all time, that He actually cared that this wedding be all that this family wanted it to be. We don't know the family, they are anonymous, but they live throughout eternity as having thrown a heck of a party, so that God could illustrate for us how much He cares about the things that matter to us!
Time and again I am reminded that God is in the details of things. Really, when do you feel most cared for by the Father? For me, it's been during our adoptions and during my pregnancy. The small details that I would stress and be consumed by would miraculously fall into place and I would once again be reminded that God was in control. He cared about documents being apostilled, babies being born, and judges being persuaded. And I'm really trying to learn to live that dependent on Him without adopting... I am trying to find a way to serve Him through the passion He gave me (the God ordained passion) of caring for orphans! It's a big plan, I know He's moving because I feel it every time I'm in the presence of orphan-lovers, He just hasn't revealed it to me yet and maybe it's because of my small sized faith!
And I'm just sitting right now in awe of how much He cares for every single one of us in this lavish way. I watched last night as He moved and sat in a sanctuary on Franklin Road. Point of Grace held a benefit concert for my friend, Gwen. And WOW is all I can say! Gwen put me at the door collecting money because she thinks I'm a bully and wouldn't let people "sneak in" without paying. hahaha But in reality, God put me at the door to be blown over by the generosity of anonymous people in outpouring their treasures to help my friend bring her son home from Africa. These folks who came through the line, attending a concert that was billed as "ten dollars at the door" and handed me a $100 bill and said, "Keep the change." those those people were reminding me of God's lavish care for His children. I was continually moved all night by the willingness of folks to hand cash, anonymously (I didn't know these people and Gwen would never know who paid 10 and who paid 100) to help someone do something that would have no lasting benefit to the benefactor. But the Spirit led them to give and they obeyed and I know they were blessed, I know Gwen was blessed, but I was blessed too. Big! I didn't want the night to end, I didn't want to go to sleep when I got home, I just wanted to dance at the ball forever. I was reminded that God cares about all these little things. He cares that Gwen's husband's truck burned to the tires the day before the concert. He cared that Katie Davis spoke and then answered questions for an hour afterward and someone in that room was moved to do something that is only between them and God, we may never know what that big decision was, but I can tell you that I know that it happened. I can also tell you that those 1,000 people that filled that church last night were not strangers, they were a family. You have never seen so many adopted children in one place in your life. And it was beautiful! It was moving! And it was nothing short of the presence of the Holy Spirit reminding us that this is what God's immediate family looks like. We are all sisters and brothers and last night, that's how it felt, like a big ol' family reunion. Thank you GOD! You are SO good!
I want to leave you with a quote from Batterson today:
"God has considered every contingency in your life, and He always has your best interest at heart. And that sense of destiny, rooted in the sovereignty of God, helps you pray the unthinkable and attempt the impossible."