So, we do our entire 1.5 hour shopping trip whereby I avoid many sugary requests in favor of more healthy options like fresh fruit. I'm feeling like super mom, able to avoid toddler tantrums in a single bound, when I reach the register and realize.... AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH..... I have left my COUPONS in the car. GASP!!!!! Okay, no biggy, I'll just pay now, go get the coupons, bring them, the receipt, the toddlers BACK inside and get a refund at the service desk. I unload the groceries, get the coupons and head back inside when Meg decides she has HAD ENOUGH! There will just simply be no more of this toting back and forth to things that don't involve Mickey Mouse or a trampoline. She puts her foot down firmly in the form of a swift smack to my face, a complete meltdown, screaming, head spinning episode... right.there.in.the.parking.lot! I put her over my shoulder so that she will stop smacking me (you know, sort of like you carry the 50 pound bag of dog food where her waist is on my shoulder, her feet are hanging at my tummy, her head is at my back.) She screams and grabs my shirt so I realize she is a little scared that I am going to drop her. I pull her back onto my hip and say "don't hit mama." To which she responds with kicking, screaming, and more smacking. So, back over the shoulder she goes. This time there is a nice little lady wearing a "Grace Fellowship Bible Church" shirt who says, "Oh, that is just so wrong." Now... picture this scene, all with Connor orbiting somewhere around me.
I turn (whether it was my whole body or just my head spinning 360 degrees, I'm still not sure) to face the lady, firmly holding said toddler on one shoulder and brandishing a pointing finger with the other I say, very rudely I might add, "That is NOT wrong. Let me tell you something... she is having a complete meltdown because she wants to stay in the car and she is sick of being drug around town and it's her nap time and she is smacking me and rather than allow myself to be bested by a two year old I am carrying her so that she can't hurt herself and I won't hurt her." I wish I had a photo of the rage on my face. This sweet lady says in reply... "Oh, honey, not you! HER!" And she addresses Meg at that point and says, "I'm sure your mom would have preferred to leave you in the car, but then she might get arrested. And though the thought of someone taking you is probably appealing to her at this very moment, she would later be sorry, so for you to act this way is just wrong." Well, of course, I wanted to crawl under a rock. I apologized profusely and then returned to the service desk shaking from head to toe. When I came back out, the same lady was still unloading her car, but as she pulled away I saw that she had a smiley face bumper sticker with it's tongue sticking out. Obviously, she has a great sense of humor. And maybe I need to ease up a bit, huh?
I will say (for the sake of my children's grandparents who read this blog) that the kids actually did come out brandishing new balloons in pink and blue and not all was lost. But still, just to be safe, I think I will start shopping at Kroger!