The truth as I know it:

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands. ~~~ Kristi Larson

Monday, April 12, 2010

Breaking Free

We just got back from a week at the beach.  Something about being at the beach is always very moving to me.  I think the enormity of the ocean and the fact that the sand stretches on beyond my comprehension?  I don't know, it's just always almost an overwhelming feeling for me to be there and how unbelievably mighty God is and how incredibly blessed we are as a family.

Part of us being at the beach, and away from phones, computers, video games, etc. really made me realize how much "busy" we create in our lives that is unnecessary.  I feel that I am running circles inside chaos sometimes and can't get it all done.  But at the beach, that never seems to be a problem.  So I have decided that I am going to take a little break from the blog for a while.  This is sort of a hard decision because I feel like I am leaving alot of dear friends.  I have made some friends in my real-life through blogging, like Gwen and Katie.  And I have friends in the blog world that I don't want to lose touch with (too many to mention.)  But for right now, I know I have got to find more peace in my home and my schedule and this seems a pretty obvious way to cut down on some distraction.

There was a time when I literally thought in blog posts.  Every thought was a post and every thought was something worth blogging.  But you can't be a blogger without reading other blogs too.  It's almost an addiction.  And whenever I blog, I always go check in on all my friends.  There are several of you that I will still keep up with, but I need to simplify.  This is a busy time of year for the kids (I swear it's worse than December when the school end rolls around.)  Brian is going to be traveling some and that will require more energy from me for the kids and myself.  I will miss him when he's not here.  In less than one month, Brian and I will have been together for 16 years.  It's amazing to me that I have loved this man for almost half my life.  And truthfully, I love him more now than I did the day we got married. I think that's because the day we got married, being "in love" was all about how exciting it all was, how handsome he was, and all the dreams we had together.  Now loving him is so much more than all that.  I've seen him looking not-so-handsome, seen him at his worst both physically and emotionally, and we've collected so many memories and shared so many moments along the way that love is no longer about being "in love" but about a deeper connection.  So, even though we've been together for so long, it's still very hard for me when he travels.  Beyond having the kids to myself, I just don't like us being apart.

Summer is coming up and I know that the kids will be running me in every direction from swim team to whims and fancy and I really want to enjoy this time with them.  I want more time to pray, to think about where God is calling us as a family, and to just play with my family without distraction.  I am also saying good-bye to Facebook, so I hope my blog family doesn't feel "singled out" in this rest period.  I am sure that some day I will be back.  I am pretty sure I will still record alot of things we do with the kids, etc. on this blog.  It's just that I won't be blogging every thought and emotion I have going forward.  So if you were one of those coming just for the cute kid photos, you're likely to still find that here.  It's just that I'll be spending less time thinking about blogging and more time thinking about what really needs to be done around here.

It's very hard for me to say farewell.  So I'll just say, "until next time."  Thanks so much for following along this bumpy road with me.  You've truly truly been a bright spot in my day.  There was a time when I lived for comments in my in-box.  And for those of you who e-mail me directly on occasion, (Barb, Lindsay, Kristine, Nicole, Michelle, Cory, Amanda, etc.) please check in with me.  I'll be checking your blogs from time to time, but I'll miss you al the most!

Jeremiah 6:16
"This is what the Lord says:  'Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.'"


The Fab 4 said...

We totally understand, and we'll miss you until you fall of the wagon and sneak to your computer in the middle of the night to tell us a great story. :)

Contemplating the same thing--needing some margin. You can't just throw a blog post up and not read one million others. It's just so fun. Maybe you're paving the way for me to go dark, too.

Kristine said...

Girl, those lice hit you hard! LOL. No, I totally understand where you are coming from. I let the inernet get a hold on me too often and sometimes it even dictates how I feel for the day..especially right now with all the Russian adoption stuff...which truly is not right and definitely not what God intends for my day and how He would like me to spend it.

As long as you don't forget about me!!! Love ya girl. Hugs, hugs, hugs and more hugs.


Becky and Keith said...

Ha! Kristine's first sentence made me laugh out loud! I absolutely understand the need for a break but we will SO miss you! I understand exactly what you mean about trying to keep up, scaling back, etc... I think about it often, but it's also my "me" time if that makes sense. Give those cute kids a hug from us!!

Barb said...

Well, what I read into this is that you will still be posting some cute kid pics here from time to time . . . I will miss your presence out here - you were my very first bloggin g buddy and probably the reason why I started blogging! Anyways, I will email you soon!!

Love ya!