Beatitudes of a Bonding Mother

I wrote these a long time ago, when we were newly home with our second son from Russia. He was struggling to attach to us and I was struggling to juggle two kids and a job I loved and was afraid to give up. I ran across them today while I was looking for something else and the wind was sucked out of me remembering what a difficult time that was. And then when I read the last one, I realized how God was really holding me all that time and even in the darkest days I knew that He had a plan, He was in control, and I wanted to get where He was going with our family. Notice the signature at the bottom... so many promises fulfilled since then.

I post these here now for other mothers, who might be in the midst of their own dark transition time, or to remind those on the other side how much these women need our support.

The Beattitudes of a Bonding Mother

Blessed are you when your child cries, screams, or shows anger because you know that you have the unique opportunity to model moderation, control and love to this little one who has known deep rejection in his short life.

Blessed are you when you have the opportunity to spend time one on one with the little offender because you know that every moment you sacrifice yourself against your will, God is multiplying your efforts in you and using it for His glory.

Blessed are you to parent Jesus by parenting one who is unknown, unclothed, hungry, thirsty, sick, and imprisoned by his own fear of being rejected again, by another mother.

Blessed are you when you get to parent a child to whom the rules do not apply. The only rules are those of personal safety because he doesn’t care how much you know until he knows how much you care, never again will you be given the opportunity to look the other way for a while knowing that love is all that matters in these crucial months.

Blessed are you when God calls you to growth through defeat by a one year old. Nothing is more humbling and creates more need for Christ than knowing you are so weak you cannot even outsmart a one year old, but God can. Oh what blessing to rely on Him in such a humbling way.

Blessed are you when you pull your child out of Mother’s Day Out, even though he is the one child you’d like to get away from. Because you know that time with this little angry screamer is all that is going to heal him. And healing him is the only way to heal your family.

Blessed are you when you trudge on every day, putting one foot in front of the other, or maybe waiting for Christ to peel you off the floor, because you know that God blesses our efforts, not our perfection. We fake it ‘til we make it!

Blessed are you when your other children see your frustration and see you turning to Jesus, even in the grocery store, because they will model your actions and not your words and you will lead them to Christ.

Blessed are you when you turn anger and ire toward Christ and not direct it at your little hurt one, for God can take it and your child cannot.

Blessed are you when you have friends who have walked your road, because they can steer you away from the pitfalls if you allow them. And they alone understand your peril and they alone can truly advise you. They alone can cry out to our Lord in a voice of empathy and urgency that you need!

Blessed are you years later when you can reach the other side of that dark chasm and see what the Lord could see all along, but you could not; that the view from the other side was so much more pleasing, more rewarding, more fulfilling, and more Godly than anything you could have imagined.


Ondrea Harrison
Blessed mother of three boys, holding to God’s hope for a girl!