Another one bites the dust... hey hey!

I bet you already guessed it by the title of the post....

And another one's down, another one's down, another one bites the dust.... or porcelain, as the case may be.  Bubbles, the freaky, grotesque bubble eyed fish is swimming the sewage pipes tonight.  I really appreciate Lindsay trying to tell me how to fix the fishies scale issue.... but in the end it wasn't meant to be... In the words of Vito Corleon, Bubbles is, well, sleeping with the fishes.  

Also, can someone please tell me what exactly it is that people see in cats?  (Sorry Amy, I'm sure your's are VERY sweet!)  But I mean, I kept noticing that my garage was really stinky.  The cat drinks from the place where we pee, why must he pee where we park?  I mean, isn't the world enough of a toilet?  What's with the desire to pee on a plastic pool float instead of our mulch, grass, garden, etc. etc. etc.  Argh!  Why the heck do I even HAVE pets (other than my sweet poochy, of course! :)  Gwen, don't answer that!

On a much happier note, today was Connor's birthday.  We went to eat at his favorite hibachi restaurant to celebrate.  I guess you know what's coming up for Favorite Photo Friday, huh?  That boy has it made.  We've been celebrating his birthday for about six months now! :)  He's been to Bounce U, Chuck E. Cheese, Game Stop, and Shogun and the kid is only 5!  We need to tone it down or we won't be able to afford his 10th birthday.

And for those of you who aren't as into the "cute kid posts" and want more meat and potatoes... be forewarned, I've been doing alot of thinking lately and I have a list of about 50 things that need to be aired out of the cob-webbed attic that is my brain.  But Brian's taking ds2 (I know that I use my kids' real names in this blog, but I always love it when people refer to their kids by code names, so I thought I'd give it a try... anyway..... ) on a father/son weekend retreat so I'll either get lots of blog time or none at all.  Anyone else ever notice that when ONE child (doesn't matter which one, really, it can be ANY ONE) is out of the house, the vibe is so much lower key????  Maybe it's just my particular kids????? 

Just when you thought YOUR day was bad....

you see some crazy lady in the parking lot with a dead goldfish in a plastic baggy!

I just want to share this little story so that maybe you can think of me today and either laugh, or feel a little better about what YOUR doing at the moment.

Yesterday Gwen and Katie were together, no children, doing some much needed girl time before Katie leaves to return to her 13 children in Africa. When I called them, I shared this story and decided that the rest of you are just as deserving of feeling good about your day too! :) So here's the story....

I found myself driving to the mall with all four children, eating Taco Bell from the drive through, and trying NOT to look at the dead goldfish, which was in a sandwich bag hanging out my passenger side window of my car. Why, might you ask, was I even going to the mall with four children in the first place. I have no answer to that question. It did occur to me that it might be a bad idea, but it wasn't until about an hour into the shopping extravaganza (to which I had forgotten to bring my stroller) that I realized just how dumb it actually was.

Oh, you were wondering about the fish.... gotcha! Yes, well, the fish.... last week the two little boys (who share a room) decided to spend their own money, buy a tank, a goldfish and a snail. All is well for about a week, at which time the goldfish gets caught in the filter, which rips off his dorsal fin. He can't guide himself around the tank, he can only swim aimlessly without direction (which makes it hard to get food when you have to wait for it float past you.) Anyway, we flushed him live down the toilet because I couldn't stand to see him die a slow death. Enter the second trip to PetSmart where we purchase TWO goldfish this time. Black goldfish lives, white goldfish promptly dies upon entering the tank... seriously, within about two hours he was dead. I being the compassionate animal lover that I am decided that the black fish would not want to swim around in a tank with a dead fish overnight until we could take the fish back to the store (they have a two week guarantee on all fish.) So I put the dead fish in a plastic sandwich bag and go about my business. Yesterday morning I load the kids into the car, throw the baggy into the front seat and head off to the mall. But it only took me about two minutes to realize that this thing STINKS to high heaven and it would need about ten bags to keep the smell in. Hmmmm, what to do? I know, I'll stick the baggy out the window, roll the window back up, and let the fish and bag hang out the window on the way to the store. Great idea! Except.... the fish really took a beating and gross juice started coming out of his dead little body, which was pretty nasty to look at. Then his tail separated from his body. Then somehow, a little rip in the bag and the fish was gone to an interstate burial. Does this qualify for a "Because Kids Live Here" post?

You should have seen the look on the ladies face at PetSmart when I walked in with a baggy full of fish guts and juice, but no fish. All this for a refund of $2.17. :) I'm nothing if not CHEAP!

So, next time you think your day cannot get any more absurd, just thank your lucky stars you don't have a stinky fish hanging out your car window!

That Darn Cat

Just sayin'... the cat that was once this sweet little long suffering sweetheart is now the spawn of Satan who attacks anything and everything that moves... including my feet in the middle of the night under the covers!  Ouch!  So out he goes... honestly, I mentioned many times that I'm not really a cat person... I like them well enough, but I don't like to see a cat on the counters after digging around in their toilet.  So since this cat seems to have springs on his feet and climb the curtains, couch, beds, and even people's legs, I think he is really ready for the life of adventure that only outdoors could give him.  I'm putting his litter box in the garage and his food.  I'm leaving a space for him to come in from the weather so he has a refuge, but I think the kids need to play with him inside and put him out when done.... much longer and I'm afraid he's going to get used to living in the conditioned air.  Am I backward to have my 100 pound dog inside and my two pound cat out?  

In other exciting news, we were supposed to dog sit my Sister-in-law's dog, Wilson this weekend.  He's a Bichon (and truly, I love dogs, just not always little dogs....) anyway, this particular dog has never liked me very much because he barks insanely at me every time I come into their home and I always pull the dog-whisperer stuff on him (you know, one finger touch, SHHH.)  Anyway, I had him for all of four hours before he RAN AWAY.  I don't mean that he got lost or wandered off when no one was looking, like you know, a NORMAL dog... I mean RAN for his life as fast as he could the first time the door was cracked open.  Seriously, like, looking over his shoulder as he bolted for his life, running in every direction, z-formation, looking-over-his-shoulder-to-see-if-the-wolf-was-behind-him, just flat-out-sprinting anywhere-but-my-house running away.  Anyway, I do LOVE dogs, as you all know, and I LOVE my niece (and my sister-in-law too, of course) so this was a combination for total trauma at my house for a better part of the day yesterday.  I did NOT want to face my niece and tell her I lost her dog.  And this dog is the most pitiful thing you've ever seen.  When my SIL leaves, he sits on the couch and cries like a baby until she returns... he can't live without her.  He's like a total dependent or something.  It's bizarre the way he LOVES her.  He left about 2 PM and we spent the better part of the day (after I finally lost sight of him) driving around looking for him, calling his name, and squeaking his little toy out the sunroof window.  (You really should have seen me SPRINTING through yards after this dog as fast as I could run, I haven't run that fast in probably... well, ever, maybe.)  Anyway, finally, I gave up.  My sister-in-law called me last night at 9 SOBBING saying, "It's okay, it's not your fault."  sniff sniff... I felt like a total JERK for losing her baby.  (Did I mention that she is on the beach for vacation and my hubby decided to call and tell her we'd lost her dog?  Personally, I wanted to go down to the Humane Society and just put another white poodle dog in the kennel and act like I knew nothing about why he was acting strange, but DH blew that option within an hour of the disappearance. :)  Anyway, if there is one lesson I learned from growing up on the farm, it's that animals have a pretty good record of finding their way home (my Grandfather used to tell stories about a cat he tried to dump that beat him back home by swimming the river where he had to go take the bridge on horseback when he was a kid... but that's another story.)  Anyway, I did the best I could to find the dog and at the end of the night I decided to just leave their garage door slightly cracked, put his kennel and food in the garage, and hope he found his way home. About 7 this morning, my SIL called to say that her neighbor had spotted the little devil and he did, indeed, make it home in the night.  Covered in beggars lice, cockle burrs and filthy, but safe and sound.  Phew!  I guess Thanksgiving dinner will be alot more friendly this year than it might have been.  Never a dull moment around here.  

Question of the day:

Did you know that when a dog accepts your authority or your affection he has an INVOLUNTARY reaction of licking his lips and swallowing?  Don't believe me?  Try it with your pup, he may sit on command, but if he doesn't lick, he hasn't accepted that you are his alpha... when he internalizes your praise (rubbing, sweet talk, etc.) or authority he will involuntarily lick his lips and swallow.  Very interesting!  Now go rub on your puppy!   And thank God I'm not your dog-sitter.  hehehe