I am still trying to process everything that I saw and witnessed tonight. Katie's benefit dinner was held tonight and it was amazing. It was better than I had hoped for, and I hope it was better than what they had envisioned too. Suzanne and Gwen put alot of time into making tonight what it was and the work paid off. I don't see how anyone in that room could not have "gotten it". It was thick, it was heavy, and it was all Him!
I came apart though. I cry whenever I hear Katie speak. I cry whenever I see orphans. I cry when I see pictures of orphans. But tonight, I came completely unglued. Katie had just spoken and a video of her in Uganda began to play. There were images of children sitting everywhere, eating rice and beans, and wearing dirty clothes or half-clothed, and it shook me. I can't put into words what I was feeling, but I'll try to tell you some of the thoughts I had.
The thing that got me started crying was that I was thinking, "Those were my babies! My babies were those children at one point. Desperate, hungry, hopeless, fatherless... those children right there, they were my babies... why my three? Why not three of the other 147,000,000? And then my mind just went to each and every single child in that video, how much a parent would change that child's life. How much just one person to love them half as much as I love my kids would change their self-worth. And then just the overwhelming feeling of the vastness of 147,000,000. There are SO many, I just kept thinking. There are SO many, how can we ever make a dent?
And then I looked around that room, at all the able bodies, at all the love, at all the wealth, at all the extravagance and abundance and all the hands raised in praise and I thought to myself, "If only every single person in this room could know what I know about loving an orphan. If only every single person in this room could feel what I have felt while standing in an orphanage. If only they could touch these children, THEN, they would feel the burning desire to tell someone else to tell someone else to tell someone else and everyone would "get it" and then we'd make some progress." And I think that's exactly what happened tonight. Katie made the faces of the faceless millions real to alot of folks who haven't touched an orphan before. She brought the reality of the situation home for some who may have never heard the real starkness of what it looks like. And that IS speaking up for those who can't speak for themselves. Katie gave a voice tonight, to all the thousands of fatherless children in Uganda. And it was a genuine voice! Oh, I just wish that everyone who COULD do something, WOULD do something! I know I am preaching to the choir here. I know that almost every single person who reads my blog is touched by adoption in one way or another. But still, there must be someone you could tell who could DO SOMETHING!!!!!
Oh, how sweet it is to be in communion with other believers, other orphan lovers, other brothers and sisters who know the Spirit and recognize Him when they see Him. My sweet friend Kendra had to literally hold me up tonight. I was wracked with sobs for the children, mine and all the ones I can't help! At one point I just had to put my head down and let it out! It's really just too much to bare.... but someone has to carry this banner, and the word is spreading, and I wouldn't give it up even if someone tried to take it from me.
I'm going to stop now and just leave you with a few photos because I realize that none of this is making any sense at all and I'm just spilling out what comes to my head because it's too deep to really be cohesive at this point. I'll just have to sit with it a couple of days. But oh, do I wish I had a blog that got 2,000 hits a day! I wish I was up to thousands of comments with each post. I want to shout this from the rooftops! I'm tired of being invisible! I want a bigger voice for THEM!
You can't tell from the detail in this photo, but this was the most amazing photo of Katie at the check-in table.
Gwen and Suzanne going over the seating chart... they labored over this!
"Jen from Georgia" cutting the cake afterward... wherever Gwen and Suzanne are, I am learning that there are two other things.... 1) Diet Coke (and probably some nasty diet entree of the frozen variety) and 2.) Chocolate!
Here we are after the hall was cleared, just standing in awe of His vision, His provision, and His calling on Katie's life!
Lord, Thank you so much for letting me walk on this path with these amazing women! What a blessing you have given to me!
