A little of this, a little of that....

Lest you think my life is ALL about gloom, despair, and agony (remember that song from the 70s? What, you're not that old??? sigh) ... you should take a peak into this craziness I call motherhood...

Guess who left the crib this week? I mean, left it COLD TURKEY and never looked back. My other kids would crawl out of the crib once or twice, then stay in for a week or two, then sporadically get out until we finally gave in and took the crib down. Not this princess (with a tilted crown), she figured out how to get out and there was no keeping her in. She woke up every morning and popped right now, period, end of story. Sniff, sniff, I'm taking the crib down tomorrow for most likely the last time in my life. For the first time in ten years, I do not have a child in a crib, nor any prospects of anyone to fill it. Oh, the cold hard sound of a door slamming on my heart, sounds something like a jail cell.... sniff, sniff, sigh.

Look very closely, yes, the cat is indeed licking the cup while Connor drinks from it. When you have a leaky sippy cup of milk, turns out it's very handy to have a cat in the house!

Have you ever read the book, Amelia Bedelia? Meg has... she was "dusting" the furniture. And, um, her face, and the carpet, and her clothing, and ....

... mostly just her face though....

And she's just a gorgeous to me in the photo above as this precious one below.... here she is all ready for a day at school. Which she loves, by the way. Even on the days when she doesn't go, she asks to go. And all that worry and angst beforehand on my part was completely fruitless, as usual.
And after taking ALL FOUR kids to hubs office today for flu vaccinations, I was lauded by the staff as a brave woman. I can honestly say that it wasn't that bad, but it must have seemed like a bad idea to the folks there who all pretty much have fewer children than us. They all commented about how brave I was to bring four kids to an OFFICE in the middle of the afternoon to get vaccinated (hey, it was there idea to offer it in the office, not mine!) I was thinking of how brave my kids had been, but apparently, I seemed like some sort of hero in the eyes of these two-kid parents, so hey, I'm going with it. Some days you take it where you can get it, right? Just check out the sparkly band-aids though!

I had to run by Gwen's to pick up some stuff and precious Anna snapped this photo of us in our super duper soft shirts (which you should own if you don't already).... Seriously, this may be the softest shirt I've EVER owned. "It's like butta" folks! Gwen's shirt also has the 147 Million Orphan flower on it, but it's very subtle and distressed, so it's a cool shirt with a cause, but not quite so "in your face" so you could wear it for dressier occasions. And FINALLY the weather is getting cool enough for me to wear it without sweating. I've been wearing it anyway, but today there was the slightest little crisp in the air and it was fantastic.

The following photos are for Kristine. I took some inspiration from her and decided to make the house a little more festive. I thought maybe people would be so busy staring at my rockin' fall decor that they wouldn't notice all the animal hair and dirt on the floor. Sort of like black makes you look thinner, maybe orange Halloween lights make the house look straight? No, you say? Well, a girl can always hope! :)

Entry Hall

(The photo is of my great grandfather, I love it!)

This is the mantel in our den. I love the way it turned out, but realize I will have to get some dried flowers for those vases (which Gwen GAVE me at her yard sale because she thought they were junk... they were sherbert orange and I spray painted them and added the bows, then filled them with crepe myrtle clippings.) The little sign says "Boo Y'all."

The scarecrow family... I love this antique sugar mold. My friend, Keleah, does the cutest centerpieces with these things so I bought one not long ago. This usually sits on my table, but I put it up on the wine rack tonight to keep the cat out of the raffia. There are four little boy scarecrows and two girls, just like in our family! :)

One of my sweet friends hosted a fall wedding reception at her house (which happens to be on the historic registry) and she decorated all around the outside with white pumpkins. Her pumpkins were professionally monogrammed for the occasion, mine were just monogrammed with a Sharpie, but I like the way they turned out. Just ignore that green crayon! :) These orange lights are actually on most all the time, it looks really cute, but there was no good way to capture the lights on the fly, and I didn't feel like getting out the tripod so you're stuck using your imagination.

Thanks, Kristine, for the inspiration! We're getting out all the ghosts and ghouls on Thursday.... can't believe it's almost October.

Toodles!

A big thank you....

I just wanted to say a big thank you for all my friends who have added Hope's button to your blog, prayed, left comments for Melanie on her blog, and otherwise just lifted up this precious family. I talked to Melanie yesterday and each and every person who says they will pray is another drop of hope for her. Friends, this sweet mother shared with me that every time Hope has had an open heart surgery, the doctors have told these sweet parents to go ahead and plan for what they will do when she dies, because the odds are so against her. I can't even IMAGINE having that kind of discussion with a doctor. So many times when friends are sharing troubles with me, I say, "I can only imagine." But the truth is, I CAN'T even imagine. In my wildest dreams, I can't imagine the emotions and fear that would take up residence in my heart if I were being told to make plans to bury one of my children.

Melanie and Chappy are not making plans to bury Hope. They are making plans to live! They know that God may decide to take her home, but they are praying for rain and carrying an umbrella, as they say. They are fully expecting a miracle. And they know that His miraculous plan for Hope may involve her preceding them into heaven, but they appreciate every single prayer that is being lifted for this little one.

It certainly makes the minor troubles and inconveniences of my life seem pale in comparison. And I personally am humbled that God has chosen me to stand beside this precious friend as she walks this holy path. God brought us together and formed a friendship in a time when both our lives were vastly different. He has expanded both our hearts and He has seen fit to allow me to share the lives of this precious family and the blessing is completely mine. And I am completely blown away that He has given me an outlet where I could have friends in other countries that I commune with every day, who are also praying for this sweet child. I'm amazed at the Provisions to raise an army of praying warriors for the life of this child. He knew before the sun was formed that He would walk a treacherous road with His beloved Hope, and He knew that she would need voices lifted on her behalf. Every single one of you who have prayed, blogged, commented, ministered, and loved on Hope have played a specific role that the Father predestined before time began. He knew that you would be a player in this battle and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly, for joining this journey with the Hollis family. My heart is absolutely breaking for these friends, I'm hopeful and broken at the same time and I just wish so badly that every one of you could meet Hope and be touched by her because she is the most special and gorgeous child you can imagine. She reminds me of a little pixie, dancing around in her pigtails and glasses. For some reason, I always picture Hope in dogears and her little pink glasses with her pajamas on, dancing around in their living room. That is the way I think of Hope the most and it's probably a glimpse of how the angels spend their "spare" time.

If you will bare with me, I want to share with you a little bit about a conversation that had with a friend of mine yesterday. I shared this with Melanie too and she thought maybe it was correct, so I wanted to pass it on. I have a friend who has twins. According to the statistics on Melanie's blog, twins occur in nature about 1 in every 100 pregnancies (if you take out the fertility drug phenomenon and mortality rates, etc. etc.) They just naturally occur about every 100 conceptions. Guess what, SO DOES DOWN SYNDROME!!!! Stop for just a minute and think about this.... our culture celebrates twins. The parents of twins are considered to have been befallen by good fortune. Everyone knows at least one set of twins in their lives, too, I bet. Most people probably have a set of twins somewhere in their family, maybe not a close relative, but someone who shares your DNA structure probably has twins, statistically speaking anyway. But honestly, I feel incredibly humbled and privileged to know someone with Down Syndrome. Not many people have a close friend or family member with Down Syndrome. Why is that? Because Down Syndrome occurs at the same rate in nature as twins, so why wouldn't we all be as familiar with Down Syndrome as we are with twins? Because early pregnancy testing and abortion have made it possible to cut the incidence of Down's to 1 in every 750 births. That's right, there should be another 650 babies with Down's born for every 1 that is. But our culture and the Jerk (a.k.a. Satan) have tricked us into believing that Down Syndrome is a curse, a defect, something to be avoided, a difficulty, and a burden. And we bought into it, and we've perpetuated the fear by decreasing the number of children born with Down Syndrome so that none of us have the opportunity to love a child with Down's very often. We don't get the privilege to see the blessing that a child with Down Syndrome can be, so we continue to fear and consider it misfortune when someone is born with this "birth defect". Melanie told me that they would choose to take away Hope's heart trouble, but never to take away her Down Syndrome, because that would take away who Hope is. That's a powerful testament to the how precious these children can be in your life. Hope is not a burden to her family, but an unbelievable blessing!

So, what I said to Melanie was that I think we have gotten it wrong. I think when we get to heaven, God will hang his head in sorrow and tell us that Down Syndrome was meant to be a blessing. It was a special gift bestowed on a few angels that He intended to set among us to remind us of how it is supposed to look. I think He is gravely disappointed that we have rejected these special ones who were to stand as our road guides and our reminders. What does Hope remind me of, you might ask? She's only four and she can't speak a word. She reminds me that you should greet each person on their own merit, regardless of skin color, social standing, economic status, or belief. (Hope never met a stranger, not ever an enemy.) She reminds me to laugh and smile when I'm happy, cry when I'm hurt, and not hold on to it for too long... move on! She reminds me that when we see someone who is different from us, we shouldn't ignore them and look away, but we shouldn't gawk either. We should treat them with dignity and respect and a genuine interest in knowing them as a sister or brother, not as voyeurs into their lives or as a carnival side show. All the things that Hope reminds me of are just things that our Lord wanted from us all along. So I think He sent the little angels with Down Syndrome as examples to us and reminders of what we were supposed to learn from Him, but couldn't seem to grasp. And we've treated this anomaly much like we treat other Commandments He has given us, we've ignored, we've shunned, we've disregarded, and we've generally wiped our hands of it.

I'm sorry, this post did not set out to be a lecture or a sermon. I truly only set out to thank each of you for praying for my friend and tell you that each and every person who has commented on her blog or offered to pray has truly been another grain of hope for her. But I get so angry when I hear the way they have had to fight for Hope, not just for her life, but for her dignity and respect as well. I'm screaming out to the Father not to ask my friend to give her up after such a valiant fight. I'm aching for my friend in the hurt she has endured at the hands of so many "well meaning" Christians. I'm ashamed of the hurt I've inflicted, unbeknownst, when I thought I was doing good, which I undoubtedly have said some really ridiculous things to others over the years! But most of all, I'm rejoicing in knowing Hope and I'm marveling at the grace and beauty with which her family has embraced this journey.

Thanks for listening to me complain and ramble. I love you for it, I truly do!

I don't have a Bible verse to share with you today as much as I have a verse I have turned into a prayer. I am praying this verse from Isaiah for all of us.

from Isaiah 50:4

"Sovereign Lord, give me an instructed tongue, give me words to sustain the weary. Awaken me each morning with ears to listen like a student to his Master."

Favorite Photo Friday

This is a photo of Brian's sister and me kissing my father-in-law at the wedding last weekend. I love this photo because it captures his cute personality and what a charmer he is! :)

This photo is of me (obviously), Brian's cousin, Eilleen (from Ireland) and his other cousin, Catherine (also from Ireland), his baby sister Ashley, and his mom, Jean.

Brian's sisters (Wendi and Ashley), Me, and Brian's mom at the Bridesmaids Luncheon

Okay, for some reason, I had a spacey moment and could upload photos from last weekend. Duh! Seriously, when I went back and realized that it was because I hadn't checked an agreement box I wanted to smack myself! :)

Liam said the funniest thing this morning when he was leaving for school. Obama was on the cover our of news paper and he grabbed it and kissed the photo and said "Barack Obama!" (maybe a flashback from his soviet days, kissing the picture of our leader???) and then he smacked the picture, turned to us and said, "Can we move somewhere where he's not in charge of us?" What? Where did that come from? Uh, maybe Brian and I should stop romanticizing about moving to Ireland for the next four years in ear shot of the kids! :)

I really wish every single one of you had the book, Jesus Calling. Every morning when I read it, I am sure that it was really written just for me and I bet next year when I read through it again, the pages will be rearranged to fit my days exactly. It's amazing. I was having a conversation this morning with my MIL (because I thought today was her birthday, but it was really yesterday, oops) and she was saying that if we all laid our problems out in a big pile, we would look at what everyone else is dealing with and pick our own problems back up and go home with them again. Because each of us have lives designed specifically for us. I tell my sons all the time that God created them to do one very specific job. If they don't do it, no one will do it. It won't get done and God will have to figure out a way to work around that gap because he created them for one absolute purpose. I think this is what my MIL was saying this morning , that God had designed each of us to carry the specific load we have. Another persons load (though on the surface, maybe lighter) would not feel natural to us and we are not equipped to carry certain other loads.

So, imagine my surprise when I read Jesus Calling and this is what it says, "Each of my children has a unique blend of temperament, giftedness, and life experiences. Something that is a baby step for you may be a giant step for another person, and vice versa." It goes on to say alot more beautiful things about the way God has orchestrated each of our journeys for us personally, but it just surprises me that this could be so specific to the way I started my day. I know, why I am constantly surprised by God's provision and guidance is a bit ridiculous, but I'm dense! :)

Okay, I think maybe I better run on and eat my breakfast and try to be productive with my day. I hope you all have a really great Friday and a fantastic weekend!

Proverbs 29:25

"Fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that."

Not Me Monday

Well, I haven't done a Not Me post in a very long time, but I needed some inspiration to get me going so I thought this would be a good way to get the writers block packing it's bags!

If you aren't familiar with Not Me Monday, you have to head over the MckMama's little corner of the web and check out what all the other bloggers are not doing today! :)

So, I did not have a great week last week, spending time with Brian's family who are in from Ireland. They were not totally fun to hang out with and I did not totally enjoy spending three days with them here in the 'ville.

I have no idea WHY my awesome fun photos from this great time won't upload... double grrr... I want you to see what sweethearts they are and you can tell how precious they are just from the sweet smiles on their faces. Oh well, you'll have to take my word for it.

They were not in town for a family wedding. I did not have a weekend of fun with family from far and near attending this wedding where I did NOT get in bed before 1 AM either night. Don't you love family weddings?

Anyway, that's pretty much what I haven't been up to... except for praying for all my friends and my own family members who are in difficult situations right now. Thank you to everyone who is joining me in prayer for Hope!

Love you all!

Psalm 5:1-3

"Listen God! Please, pay attention! Can you make sense of these ramblings, my groans and cries? King-God, I need your help. Every monring you'll hear me at it again. Every monring I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and watch for fire to descend."

Just need to lighten the load

Well, there is so much sadness and desperation and pain going on with the people I love in this world that I needed to take a moment to lighten the load. In praying continually for Hope, praying for Gwen who is waiting for a court date to bring home Joseph and Daisy, praying for sweet friends who got some devastating news about their daughter, and praying for another friend who is going through a very trying domestic adoption, I needed to just stop and laugh about some of the random craziness in my very ordinary, very blessed, very "easy" life.

Do you know what these are? Well I do. I've been opening my cabinets in spite of them for 9 years! But no more! These are the child safety locks that USED TO BE on my kitchen cabinets and drawers! :) There are a few really good things about your children getting older... not many, but some!

And what about this? Do you know what this is?

No, it's not a marble. It's a bouncy ball. And do you know where I found it? In my garbage disposal. I think I will start a whole separate blog to commemorate all the random things I find in household appliances that don't actually belong there. Remember this guy from the drier?

Need I say more?

Oh yeah, and guess what came in the mail today? Connor's first issue of ZooBooks! FINALLY!!!! Yippeee! He is so excited. He's waited on these suckers for over 6 months (so if any of you think of giving these as a gift, order now because it takes a LONG time for these to start coming.) Poor Connor, he asked me to order them based on the commercial he saw every day on TV during Tom and Jerry. So I went to the computer and when I clicked order, he immediately ran to the window and started watching. He thought someone was going to drive up any minute and hand him his book (sort of like the pizza man.) Then when he finally grasped that it would be coming with the mail, he checked the mail 3 times daily for the next several weeks. Just Friday he said to me that he thought they had forgotten to send them or else I went to the wrong dot com place because he never did get those books. Sweet boy!

Hope's Blog

Friends, I am so excited to share with you that my friend, Melanie (Hope's mom) has started a blog.... finally (I've been begging her to start a blog for over a year!) Anyway, you have got to bookmark it and visit along with me for the next 30 days! You can join us right now, on day 2 of their journey to celebrate Hope's life and ask God to spare her! Also, the button on my sidebar now goes directly to Hope's blog so please please grab the button and add it to your own blog!

The 30 Day Journey for Hope is a 30 day journal of life with Hope as this precious family marches toward her surgery date on October 12th. Please mark your calendar for October 12th and write Hope's name on your hand that day so that you can cover her family and her in prayer on that day. Please bookmark her site and visit each day and join this family in pleading for healing from the Great Physician!

Joshua 6:2

Then the Lord said to Joshua, "See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with it's king and it's fighting men."

Thank you for continued prayers

Thank you so much for all who prayed and all who followed up and asked me about Hope's surgery. She did not have the news her family was hoping for. The doctors found an aneurism which will require an open heart surgery within 30 days to give Hope the best chance of survival.

The Hollis family has absolutely battled for the life of this child and could really use your prayers during this very difficult time. Please add her to all prayer lists at your churches, etc. Her 4th birthday is on September 14, which is a day I would ask you to keep her in your prayers, particularly. She is just truly a very special and precious child. I wish you could all meet her and see the light in her little spirit. The world is a better place with Hope!

Thank you so much, dear friends.

Big Big Prayers Needed ASAP

I want to share a message I got from my precious friend, Melanie, tonight. Her gorgeous daughter, Hope, is the cutie on my sidebar. Please take a look at this angel and say a prayer. And read this heart-felt and brutally honest plea from her precious mama!

I would like to ask each of you to pray for our little Hope tomorrow. She is having some heart issues again, and will be having a heart cath in the morning from 7:30am until 10:30am CST. She will be kept overnight. Specifically, we are asking the Father to open her aortic valve. Please join us in this prayer.

Chappy and I have prayed for God to do a miracle in Hope's life since we learned of her condition at an ultrasound in my 16th week of pregnancy. She'll be 4 on September 14th, so we've been praying for that miracle for a long time. Imagine getting up every morning to touch your baby girl's heart......expecting a miracle.....only to find it hasn't happened yet. Imagine wanting a miracle so badly, you can feel it in every fiber of your body all of the time.....a little round-faced angel being a constant reminder. Imagine holding your little one so tightly, hoping the love from your heart will flow into her little 36 inch, 29lb. body and make everything better. Imagine knowing God can and wondering why He's doesn't. This has been our lives. Praying. Expecting. Faithing. Hoping.

This journey continues to rock our world. Many times we stop to wonder if God is really real, because if He is real, why isn't He moving mountains for Hope like scripture promises those who have faith? During these moments of doubt (mixed with anger and frustration), the Father always seems to meet us. Sometimes in the strangest ways. For instance, this summer during one of those seasons of doubt, our yard became over-run with bag worms. They are nasty critters. The bagworms disguise themselves as part of the evergreen tree and completely suck the life from the tree within a matter of days. As I was picking off my 1500th bagworm (since we hesitate to spray chemicals that might harm Hope and Charlie) I began to really think about God and Evolution:

The local nursery told me the bagworm wears his disguise to protect himself from birds that would like to eat him. The ONLY purpose for the disguise is to trick the birds. It is a very clever disguise; in fact, until the tree is dying, he goes completely unnoticed. If I follow the evolution theory, the bagworm had to learn at some point that he needed to be protected from being eaten by a bird in order to "discover" the need for the disguise. However, going with that reason, the very first bagworm that ever "evolved" would've been eaten by a bird and would never have had the opportunity to learn he needed to evolve, because he would've died before getting the chance to disguise himself. Therefore, the bagworm must have been created with his peculiar disguise. This may not make sense to anyone but me.....but I was able to thank God for the bagworm and find faith again.

I don't know about you, but I want to audibly HEAR the voice of the Father. This would make things so much simpler. He spoke to Moses, Abraham, and Jacob......why did He stop speaking out loud to people? Then I am brought back to the verb: FAITH. It is not seeing or hearing, but choosing to believe in spite of the silence. That is where we are. We are choosing to believe through the silence......and the silence is, once again, screaming at us!

We have spent the last 4 years falling head over heels in love with our Hope. Many of you know her, but for those who don't, she is precious. She can't speak, but she says volumes in her own prissy way. She has huge eyes that become even more enormous with her thick glasses that are rimmed in green, gold and pink. She charms the socks off of everyone she meets and giggles to keep herself out of trouble when she knows she has done something really bad. She tries her very best to keep up with other children her age and hasn't a clue she is any different. Her chubby fingers wrap around mine and tug a bit when she wants to take me somewhere, and she squeals with delight when Barney sings the "I Love You" song on her favorite video.

Before Hope, to be perfectly honest, I didn't know if it would be possible to love Hope as much as I love my "normal" kids. Oh my, have I learned something about myself. My heart grew a million sizes when she entered my life.....and it continues to grow. Our entire family feels this way. She has brought a tenderness to our hearts we never had before. She melts us.

So, through alot of tears this evening, I write to ask you to pray for a miracle for our Hopey. I think it is time for one. Tomorrow, it is our prayer, the doctor's report will be she will NOT need a third open heart surgery afterall. This is our most heartfelt prayer, and we'd like for you to join us. Ultimately, we have learned through some pretty hard knocks, we are not in control. We have tried desperately to be in control for 4 years, and it hasn't worked for us. So, if the report again comes back negative for our little angel, I will remember that old bagworm and still believe.

Thank you in advance for your prayers! Please share our request with any prayer warriors you know who would want the opportunity to pray......Loads of Love from:

Melanie, Chappy, Caleb, Lydia, Natalie, Hope, and Charlie Hollis

Something Worth Watching

I found this today on another blog. I thought it was worth sharing!

And if you can still breathe...

and have a heart of steel....

then you can watch this one too.

Confession.... I couldn't get through the second one.

"I will not leave you as orphans," declares the Lord!

Who goes out for donuts and comes home with......

Well, I do... of course! :)

See, Connor wanted a bunny. We've had a bunny before. She met with a very untimely demise at the hands of some vicious serial killers (a.k.a. the neighbors dogs.... who also killed our first cat, but that's another story.) Anyway, in an effort to convince Connor that bunnies are not really great pets for a five year old, that they are alot of work, don't like to be carted around, scratch, chew, etc. I took him to the shelter to visit with a bunny. He was not convinced that he didn't want one, but he didn't cry when I said we couldn't get him. He was probably convinced, but didn't want to admit it. Anyway, on the way out, the "nice" lady behind the desk offered to let Meg and Connor hold the teddybear hamster that was up for adoption. Um... okay! And $10 later I'm headed home with a hamster, cage, water bottle, wheel, tiny hamster bed, feeding dish and tube. Okay, I'm off to the tattoo parlor for my giant "Sucker" sign to be permanently engraved in my forehead. How many people can say they "rescued" a hamster? :)

I know somewhere in Leviticus it says we should take care of the animals! I know it's in there!

Broken Hearted

Yesterday I was privileged to go with my sweet, dear friend, Gwen, to hear her speak at an adoption fund-raiser. It was good to get out of the house and just sit with Gwen when she isn't in the midst of doing ten things at once and even though she was nervous about what she was going to say, she was strapped into her car seat so she couldn't exactly run around and package shirts and check e-mail. It was nice.

Gwen did an amazing job and of course, she spoke out the truth, calling folks to action and testifying to the changes in her life since she has adopted. All of that was beautiful and glorifying to the Lord. I expected to be proud of Gwen, but I didn't necessarily expect to hear anything that was any sort of revelation to me, after all, I talk to Gwen every day and, well, inevitably, ALOT of our conversation centers around orphans. But God can send a Word, even when your senses are dull and not on the look-out.

She spoke about how we have a choice. We can look into the faces of the homeless, the orphan, the poor, the enslaved, and we can choose to see them. We can make that choice, knowing we will be broken hearted. Or we can choose to protect our hearts and not see them. Of course, you can guess what she thought the right choice was. The thing that was an epiphany to me was that I have been walking around thinking that God must be wanting me to do something different, something more, something that I just wasn't getting! In reality, I think He has me right where he wants me. Just because I am broken-hearted, does not mean that He is trying to get me somewhere else. It's just that where He has me is heart-breaking. I'm privileged that He chose me to be here, broken hearted with Him on this. Because He IS BROKEN HEARTED TOO!!!!! The good news about injustice? God sees it and He's there! I am choosing to serve orphans in the way that God has given to me, with the talents He has given me, and it's heart-breaking and it's always going to be because there is no solving it, there's only making a small difference. But if each of us make a small difference, it will be a collective huge difference. It will break your heart, but God will hold your hand!

I know you all "get it". I'm preaching to the choir. I wish I had a thousand followers who were so obsessed with me that they have their own side group on Facebook, but I don't. I just have the 38 of you who already get it. :) But boy if I did have thousands of followers, couldn't I challenge some folks to help the helpless? Thanks for listening. It helps so much to lay it down with those of you who truly understand my heart!

Matthew 9:36-38 from The Message translation:

"When he looked out over the crowds hies heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. "What a huge harvest!" he said to his disciples. "How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!"

Got any good shots of YOUR week?

Greetings Earthling! I come in pieces peace! (Actually, he came from the drier... I know there will be a day when little things like this don't greet me in the laundry room. I want to cherish it while it does!) Remind me I said that next time I post photos of a laundry mountain!

"Mommy, look at my Mick-ick!"

"Beautiful Meg... now get your shoes, we're late for football practice!"

(Why yes, we DID go to football practice like that. What????)

"Aaaaahhhhhhhh! What the heck?" What was in YOUR sink this week? (Why yes, that IS a toothbrush this frog is sitting on... what????)

Mom: "What was that noise?"

Connor: "Your camera.... hitting the floor. It was in my way."

Mom: "Connor, you are in so much trouble."

Mom: "Connor, it works, but you still owe me!"

Connor: "How much?"

Mom: "You have to pose for a photo any time I ask for the next ten years!"

Connor: "Okay mom."

By the way, does anyone know how to reply to comments left on your blog? I get my comments delivered to my e-mail in-box, which is fun. But I can't just hit reply and send a message back. The only way I know to comment back to someone is to go to their blog or profile and leave a comment for them. Sometimes when I leave comments for people on their blogs, I will get an e-mail reply from them regarding my comment, so I know there is a way to do this, but I am totally lost! Anyone know what the heck I am talking about?

Where in the world is Ondrea...

Did you know that my "town" is so distinctive in it's own style that it has a style named after it? Well, I did, but it didn't hit me until I got an invitation to an ultra-cool event that this is something that is not just a local term.  Can you guess where I live by this description.... the term is known as "_______-casual".  When you get an invitation with this dress code on it, you would automatically assume that you should come in your "dress" jeans, funky shirts, (the more rhinestones the better) the coolest boots you own, and anything goes in the hair department.  Do you know now?  And if you know where I live, no fair cheating on this quiz!  Can you guess where I live?

I love our "hometown" (even though this is not where I am from, it's where I've been for 17 years!  (I moved here when I was only one year old! :) hehehe  It's definitely home for me now.  It's a wonderful place to live and here's another hint.... we were voted "Friendliest City in the USA" but USA Today.  Now surely you know where I live.  I have a friend who moved here from Houston (another friendly city.)  When she first moved here she was commenting on how nice the people are here and she said, "I never imagined I'd live in a city where I am the asshole."  Isn't that funny?

And just because it's Friday, I feel compelled to post a photo (or three).... these are from last week at Connor's birthday celebration.  I was playing around with the functionality on my new photo editing software.... fun effects. 

This photo is of my neighbor and sweet friend Sonja.  She had a baby a few weeks ago and Jack is pretty much in love with this pint sized fellow.  The baby's name is Finn and he has two older brothers, who are Jack's best friends.  Sonja sent this photo to me in an e-mail entitled "Finn's Fan Club".  I'd say that just about hits the nail on the head, huh? 

Do you notice the boys have matching shoes and coordinating shoe laces?  These three are tight!

A little perspective over here, please!

First, before I get into the aha moment of the week, I have to share this yummy photo!  This will probably qualify as my fav photo of the week, just because of all the lovin' involved.... ahhh, sweet times!  Just ignore how awful I look... oh never mind... yes, I am actually in the photo.  I know you hadn't noticed because you were too busy staring at yummy little Lucy Lane!  Oh how I love this little dumplin'.  And her mommy let me hold her for a LONG time while she slept.  You all know how much I love to hold a sleepin' baby!  LL is from Ethiopia and if  I had even one more hour in my day and a spare 20 grand, I'd go get me one of these!  Meg told LL's sister that "That is not your baby, that's my mommy's baby."  Ooops! 

Okay, on to the perspective part.... 

Last weekend Brian and Liam went to a father/son bonding weekend.  They had an amazing time doing lots of guy stuff (you know, getting eaten alive in the process by mosquitoes didn't seem to be a very big deal to them?????)  Anyway, one of the exercises they did was where the team blindfolded Brian and Liam had to lead him through a "mine field."  Brian said they gave no instruction at all, just that his son was going to lead him and that he should trust Liam.  In the middle of the exercise someone runs up behind Brian and starts to whisper in his ear, "He's going the wrong way.  You're going to go off the trail.  You're going to hit a "mine", you need to turn around!"  Brian, being the patient, non-reactionary person that he is, thought through it and realized that they were trying to trick him into not trusting Liam.  (I would have immediately started questioning Liam, maybe I should work on that!)  Anyway, I thought this was an amazing exercise and a good lesson for me even though I wasn't there.  This happens to me so many times throughout the course of my journey.... I'll be following my heart or trusting my instinct (which, in my experience, is usually planted seeds of the Holy Spirit) and suddenly, someone will whisper doubt in my ear.  I'll hear the words, "How do you know you're following God's will and not your flesh?"  I'll start to have all sorts of doubt and get all confused about which voice to listen to.  Is this voice a messenger of the Spirit trying to turn me around, or is it a messenger of evil trying to get me off God's path?  Again, it's about my perspective.  In this case, I could immediately identify with all the questions running through Brian's mind!  What a great visual though, of how the world tries to put doubt into your journey!

However, and this is why I'm so thankful for Godly friends, Gwen immediately got tears in her eyes when I told this story and she said she was just feeling what Liam must have been thinking, wondering if his dad was going to trust him.  She immediately identified with Liam, not Brian.  She was the child.  How God must love hearts like that, who are naturally in the "child mode" of submission.  How He must want to beat His head against a wall with hearts like mine who immediately think it's up to ME to figure it all out!  Ugh.... remember that personalized pit... still living there!  

Anyway, Gwen's perspective really got me thinking about how many times throughout my day I think it's up to me to make decisions and do do do do do do without stopping to think about what it all looks like from the perspective of my children.  I'm so glad God has given me friends like Gwen and my sweet friend Sonja, who are SOOOOO good at seeing the other side and pointing out to me that there is another perspective in every scenario, not just MINE!  Thanks girly-pies!  I love you sweet friends-o-mine!

Psalm 25:14-15

"God-friendship is for God-worshippers; They are the ones He confides in.  If I keep my eyes on God, I won't trip over my own feet."  

Forget the Fav Photos, I can't miss this

Okay, hold on to your pants because this is going to get pretty deep here.  Sort of like a typing purge of all the yuck in my brain!

I'm not going to go into all the history at this point, but some of you know that one of our sons has ADHD (pretty severe) and some other issues.  It's something that we have a handle on and have to constantly work to stay ahead of.  But lately, I've just been sucked down by all the yuckiness of it.  I feel like I'm walking through a bog, I'm putting forth ALOT of effort, but not making too much progress.  Part of it is that for some reason, his medication doesn't seem to be working. This is a big deal because he's one of only 5% of kids for whom Ritalin or it's paradox does not work.  We only have a very few limited options in terms of medications.  So when it appears that something is causing his medication to have NO affect on him, it's a pretty scary thing for me.  

Anyway, I usually have a pretty good attitude about it.  No sense complaining, it is what it is, this is my life, I love him, I will do what I need to do, yada yada yada.... but lately, I've been worn out by how many times I have to reprimand, repeat, remind, prompt, remove, and restrain.  I feel like all I am doing is negative and that I don't get much opportunity for praise.  Praise of good behavior and actively ignoring negative behavior is the foundation of our therapeutic parenting that works really well for him, so when there doesn't seem to be much opportunity for that the whole thing starts to come unraveled.  We are back to chewing on clothing, not eating, just general ADHD yuck.

So much for not going into it all, huh?  Anyway, this morning I found myself with a little spare time after the buses left for a conversation with my Lord.  And what a sweet conversation it was!  I just sat down with no real plan in terms of prayer, Scripture reading, etc.  I just started pouring out to Jesus what was on my mind and telling him how yucky it all is and how tired I am of it and just generally complaining and confessing my many shortcomings.  Then I picked up the book that Gwen told me to get this week (folks, I JUST bought this book on Tuesday!)  God is good like that, don't you think?  He sent me over to Lifeway for a book because He had a message He needed to get to me today!  Just stopping to praise for a second here!  Anyway, so after that prayer, I open up my "Jesus Calling" devotional.  Here is what it says for today... you ready?  

"I am a God who heals.  I heal broken bodies, broken minds, broken hearts, broken lives, and broken relationships.  My very Presence has immense healing powers.  You cannot live close to Me without experiencing some degree of healing.  However, it is also true that you have not because you ask not.  You receive the healing that flows naturally from My Presence, whether you seek it or not.  But there is more - much more - available to those who ask.  ..... When the time is right, I prompt you to ask for healing of some brokenness in you or in another person.  The healing may be instantaneous, or it may be a process.  That is up to Me.  Your part is to trust Me fully and to thank Me for the restoration that has begun.  I rarely heal all the brokenness in a person's life.  Even My servant Paul was told, "My grace is sufficient for you," when he sought healing from the thorn in his flesh.  Nonetheless, much healing is available to those whose lives are intimately interwoven with Mine.  Ask and you will receive."  

So, deep exhale here!  It's not up to me.  How many times must I learn this lesson?  Seriously folks, talk about a pit!  I have fallen into the pit of me so many times that I have a personal private pit just set aside for me.  I'm in there so much they had to give me my own so that there would be open pits for other unsuspecting believers to occupy.  I want to smack myself right now and say, DUH!  It's amazing the relief I feel just from this reminder.  I don't have to have all the answers.  I don't have to heal my son.  I just have to attend the GEIT meetings and IEP meetings and search for another medication and find a doctor who can get the right combination of holistic and Western medication and remember to focus on the positive and ignore the negative and pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray!  This is MY journey, this is my path!  And I do not walk it alone by any stretch of the imagination.  How do people do it when they have no faith?  I honestly don't know.  It must be hard to get out of bed in the morning!  

This is the honest truth of what it is like to parent a kid who has residual affects of institutional life and a very toxic fetal environment.  This is not every kid adopted from an orphanage or adopted from Russia.  But the truth is, if you adopt a child from an orphanage, and I don't care HOW GOOD the orphanage environment is, you will most likely face some difficult days.  There will PROBABLY be affects of institutional life that you must overcome.  Not all will be debilitating for life, like what we are probably facing with my son.  But some will!  Some children are born into very healthy families with debilitating limitations too, but those odds don't stop people from giving birth.  And it certainly shouldn't stop you from adopting!  In the end, like Paul, God gives us all certain paths to walk because it keeps us closer to Him and He knew that I was going to need this "thorn" to remind me of my insufficiency.  It was my assurance of salvation, set in motion for me LONG before there ever was a me.  It was written on God's calendar that I would walk this path before time began.  Why?  Because He loves me so much that He wants to spend eternity with me and being the perfect parent that He is, He is willing to give me discomfort in this life to deliver the GOODS in the next life!  This is total nonsense to non-believers, but can I get an AMEN from all who know this as truth!  

One point I want to make is this.... I have spent a very long time working in the field of orphan adoption.  Not long in comparison, but what feels like a lifetime to me.  I spent a good portion of that time not revealing the ugly side, not talking about how hard transition can be, not wanting to talk about the risks because I didn't want to be the one who discourages someone who might otherwise adopt.  But the truth is, if knowing there are difficulties involved in parenting discourages you, then you probably SHOULD be discouraged.  Adopting is the easy part! So is pregnancy and childbirth... the hard part is the day in and day out of whatever you get!  I have said it a million times!  There's a satisfaction in walking through the orphanage doors that cannot compare to any other peace I have felt in my life.  The truth is, if you aren't willing to prepare in advance for what you need to do, if you aren't willing to face the fact that there are risks and not every child coming from an orphanage is "perfect" or even will be after some months of love, then you will need to spend some more time on your knees. It's not that I think God is going to discourage you, I think He's going to prepare you!  But you do no one any favors if you bring this child home and aren't prepared to parent the child in whatever may come.  Sometimes it's a very easy process.  It certainly was with Jack.  We hit the ground running, never looked back and he's been one of the easiest kids I know since that day.  But it's not always this way.  And that's okay too.  Because neither are birth children.  My biological child is one of the hardest children in my house at times.  (He's too much like me!)  So, there you have it, a verbal "throw up" of all the randomness I had in my heart and mind this week.  And some major praise that God wants us to get the message.

And if this post doesn't do it for you, then just know that my dear friend, Gwen, got her referral for her daughter "Abigail", who we've been praying for since I have known her.  In January Gwen started selling T-shirts to help fund the adoption of Abigail.  And the shirts had a daisy on the front, dropping it's petals because it's "broken".  Guess what, this week, Gwen got a referral for her Abigail and her name is DAISY!  Thousands of people have been wearing DAISY on their chests for MONTHS!  You don't think God loves the details?  You don't think He wanted us not to miss that this was His will do you?  He's so tender like that and it's amazing!  And yes, Gwen is naming her Daisy... seems too Providential not to, don't you think?

2 Corinthians 12:9

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Another one bites the dust... hey hey!

I bet you already guessed it by the title of the post....

And another one's down, another one's down, another one bites the dust.... or porcelain, as the case may be.  Bubbles, the freaky, grotesque bubble eyed fish is swimming the sewage pipes tonight.  I really appreciate Lindsay trying to tell me how to fix the fishies scale issue.... but in the end it wasn't meant to be... In the words of Vito Corleon, Bubbles is, well, sleeping with the fishes.  

Also, can someone please tell me what exactly it is that people see in cats?  (Sorry Amy, I'm sure your's are VERY sweet!)  But I mean, I kept noticing that my garage was really stinky.  The cat drinks from the place where we pee, why must he pee where we park?  I mean, isn't the world enough of a toilet?  What's with the desire to pee on a plastic pool float instead of our mulch, grass, garden, etc. etc. etc.  Argh!  Why the heck do I even HAVE pets (other than my sweet poochy, of course! :)  Gwen, don't answer that!

On a much happier note, today was Connor's birthday.  We went to eat at his favorite hibachi restaurant to celebrate.  I guess you know what's coming up for Favorite Photo Friday, huh?  That boy has it made.  We've been celebrating his birthday for about six months now! :)  He's been to Bounce U, Chuck E. Cheese, Game Stop, and Shogun and the kid is only 5!  We need to tone it down or we won't be able to afford his 10th birthday.

And for those of you who aren't as into the "cute kid posts" and want more meat and potatoes... be forewarned, I've been doing alot of thinking lately and I have a list of about 50 things that need to be aired out of the cob-webbed attic that is my brain.  But Brian's taking ds2 (I know that I use my kids' real names in this blog, but I always love it when people refer to their kids by code names, so I thought I'd give it a try... anyway..... ) on a father/son weekend retreat so I'll either get lots of blog time or none at all.  Anyone else ever notice that when ONE child (doesn't matter which one, really, it can be ANY ONE) is out of the house, the vibe is so much lower key????  Maybe it's just my particular kids????? 

We Adopted Her

Yesterday at guitar lessons Jack was introducing his teacher to his little sister.  He said, "We adopted her."  I thought that was the sweetest thing ever because it was an acknowledgment that it was something we were all involved in.

We had his teacher orientation meeting last night.  I think this is going to be an amazing year for Jack.  His teacher seems to be unbelievably committed to her profession.  She was very intentional in all the things she has chosen for the class this year.  She seems to be a great teacher for the way alot of boys learn because she is applying math and other things to every-day life.  It's so different from the way I was taught.  But it was really sweet because she just said, "How could you not like Jack?  He's a great kid."  Of course, as his mom I think that's true, but it's always great to hear other people say that too.  And he is the neatest kid.  This boy just has something special and I am overly blessed to be parenting him. 

God gave me Jack (an easy child) because he knew that my third son would try every single day to push me off of the very narrow ledge I'm hanging from.  Seriously, today we had a 30 minute melt-down because we threw away an old plastic garbage can that was broken.  Apparently that garbage can was "special" and he "wanted it!"  He actually asked me at one point if I could chase down the garbage truck and dig it out of the back.  Yeah, okay, I'll get right on that.  :) 

So anyone want to come and entertain a 4 year old who's distraught over his brothers leaving for school without him?  I promise it will be alot of fun.  And you might even get lucky and get to sweep my floor or do my laundry while you're here.   

Okay, gotta run... I'm typing to a cacophony of "I want to get the teeeeennntttt out!"  Read that in your whiniest voice!

1 Corinthians 13:4

"Love is patient, love is kind..... "

The Fish Saga Continues

Okay, first of all, honey, if you are reading this post you are going to have to make more coffee in the morning.  You just can't possibly expect me to make it through these days with only three mugs.  Seriously, can you just go ahead and make a little more?

I know you are all on the edge of your seats wondering what the heck is going on with our fish.  Well, let me tell you.  The snail died this week. No fanfare, no warning, he just floated out of his shell. I am pretty sure it was a slow death of starvation.  I was putting the algae tablets in the tank as prescribed, but Jack's big FAT fish was eating them.  Seriously, his fish, which has lived for at least two years, is abnormally large and honestly looks a little bit freakish due to his size. He lost so much weight that he fell totally out of his shell.  Weird!  

This weekend Brian took the boys to the Harpeth River to play and they came home with a gallon jug full of minnows that they caught.  So into Jack's tank they went.  Freakishly large fish went into Liam and Connor's tank with small, grotesque bubble eye fish.  Small fish "woke up" this morning to some bloody looking fins.  Could freakishly fat fish be trying to eat small gross fish?  The saga continues.... stay tuned! 

And don't even get me started on the cat!  RUDE, RUDE, RUDE!!!!!

And no, Connor is not at the actual rodeo... this is him admiring the rodeo play set in the window of our local toy store!  I wish you could have seen the sparkle in his eyes! :)

Isaiah 1:5-6 "Why bother even trying to do anything with you when you just keep to your bullheaded ways?  You keep beating your heads against brick walls, everything within you protests against you.  From the bottom of your feet to the top of your head, nothing's working right.  From the Message translation

Favorite Photo Friday

This week we started 2nd grade, and we got THE teacher that we wanted.  This is the first time Liam has had the same teacher Jack had so we are excited that we know what to expect and that we know Liam will be totally loved on this year.  We love his second grade teacher!  This is him the first day of second grade.

Fourth grade!  I just can't hardly believe it!  We got a teacher that everyone says is great with boys, so that is going to be perfect for us because Jack is definitely 100% boy!  He's excited about his class and it's shaping up to be a great year already.  This is Jack on the first day of his last year of Elementary.  :(

Connor cried almost every morning at the bus stop when he had to separate from his beloved brothers.  This boy is a BIG fan of the big boys!  So we did alot of creative entertaining between bus pick-up and bus drop-off.  One day we went "magnet fishing" off the back of the couch.  Am I a bad mom that I let him fish for candy?

We turned a worm into a gorgeous moth.  I can't believe that Connor caught this caterpillar, we googled how to keep him alive, and he actually spun a cocoon, busted out and flew around the house.  That never works like it's supposed to, but this one time, it did.  Now we can't find him.  He's probably in my closet eating all my winter sweaters! :(  Man, do I need to paint my baseboards! :)

And we rediscovered some great uses for a well loved tree.... "cat fishing"!

Pirate ship!  You can't see Connor, but he's in there, sailing the high seas with his stick-sword.  

And that's life in the trenches of suburbia this week.  What were your favorite things this week?

Seriously People, there is something wrong with me!

Really, I think I have some kind of genetic code that is wired wrong or something.  There is something in me that loses all inhibition, loses all common sense, and goes into complete auto-pilot whenever there is a weak and helpless creature who might need me.  Notice I said "might" because in this case, I am pretty sure that I overreacted.  Our cat, you know, the demonic one?  Well he got himself "stuck" in a tree today.  Now my neighbor said there is no such thing as a cat stuck in a tree.  Proof? Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree, EVER?  Nope!  Not me, so obviously, the cat could have probably eventually figured out a way down.  But the kids were wigged out and the cat was panting as if he had just run a marathon and he was clinging by his front legs to these twigs at the end of a limb.  So I got the ladder out and seriously stood on the very top part (you know that part that says, "This is not a Step!"?)  Yeah, that part!  I stood there on the side of a hill with my kids holding the ladder.  I stood on my tippy toes and reached as far as I could to grab the cat, who I had to basically knock out of the tree into the outstretched beach towel awaiting him.  Of course, the minute the cat hit the towel, the kids all let go of the ladder and there I am hanging from the tree branch trying to get myself down without breaking a leg.  Jack was the only one who stayed to save his mama! :)  But the cat is safe.  So, what IS it that makes me ignore all possible risk to go into super-hero mode when I see a helpless creature, even ones that I don't particularly care for?  Must be some sort of genetic mix-up, I'm pretty sure this is NOT part of evolving.  :)

Hope you all had a fantastic Thursday with no drama.